FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Domino's Acts Quickly to Employee's Viral Video
Conover, North Carolina- April 16, 2009- Domino's is highly alarmed by the recent conduct of its employees in the Conover branch. First, Domino's has responded via a video apology from our CEO to the inappropriate videos made by two franchise employees. Measures are also in progress to strengthen the conduct of Domino's employees as well as prevent any possible inappropriate activities in the future.
Yesterday, Kristy Hammonds posted a video she filmed on Youtube.com of co-worker Michael Setzer engaging in distasteful acts in a Conover, North Carolina Domino's location while on the job. Within the day, the video had acquired over 1 million views. The video has since been taken down.
The two have already been fired and are no longer employees of the Domino's franchise.
David Brandon, Domino's C.E.O, personally delivered an apology for the former employees' conduct via Youtube today. It ensures the restaurant's costumers that this was an isolated incident and informs the public of ways the company plans to prevent situations like this one from happening at any of its locations.
The Domino's team is currently updating franchise employee handbooks with a code informing them of newly issued rules covering this subject and the harsh consequences of breaking these rules.
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Firestone SSS response
Missing contact information and paragraphs may be too long.
Mistakes: "yesterday" is non-specific; should probably include date; nad lack of contact info.
Headline: Domino's Responds to Employees' Indecent Behavior
Domino's is shocked by the behavior of its employees in an isolated incident in rural NC.
What they did well: They explain what happened and its definitely newsworthy.
What they could have done better: include dates and names and perhaps summarize better at the beginning of the release.
Faulkourberries response
1. This press release follows the formatting correctly. The only thing that is missing is the contact information, there isn't any.
2. There were not many common mistakes with this press release. It follows the criteria and the grammar is for the most part correct.
3. Domino's is appauled by the actions of two employees in the Conover, NC branch.
4. Domino's Works for Credibility
5. Provide as much Contact information as possible: Individual to Contact, address, phone, fax, email, Web site address. This press release needs to put this information on the press release.
Tell the audience that the information is intended for them and why they should continue to read it. The audience is going to continue to read this release because of the format of the first sentence. Readers are going to want to know why Domino's is upset with their employees.
TEAM EVAN comment
1. There is no contact information in the press release.
2. When including an e-mail address, make sure to use a role account instead of a personal account.
3. Domino's Employee Conduct Will Not be Tolerated.
4. The unethical behavior of Domino's employees in the Conover branch has not gone unnoticed.
5. The first and second paragraphs should be switched, so that the story is told first. This press release did a good job of not using fancy language. It was written for the media.
ACORN Group
1. Add contact information.
2. Minor grammatical errors (Domino's should be Dominos')
3. Dominos Addresses Sanitiation Issus with Video Apology
4. Dominos has responded via a video apology from our CEO to the inappropriate videos made by two franchise employees.
5. Newsworthy but use more real life examples.
SSS
1. The formatting all seems right. However, we did leave out the contact information and will get right on that.
2. There is one place where a comma should be added to prevent a run on. Other than that, I think it is grammatically correct and the formatting issue with leaving the contact information out can easily be fixed.
3. Two Domino's Employees Fired for Dirty Deeds.
4. Domino's has gone on a firing frenzy in order to "save face" after two employees were caught on camera participating in unsanitary acts.
5. I think it was very well put together in the sense that everything that needed to be said, was right to the point. There isn't excessive information, however the reader finds out all they need, and in this case, probably desire to know.
6. The contact information needs to be added. This is a press release to save a business- our customers have to be able to reach us.
re: Team SSS Press Release
OK, you should restructure this press release. What event are you announcing? You probably want to state that employees were shown on video tampering with food (but don't go into specific details) and then announce what you're doing to fix it. Your plan is the event you're covering. State that it was an isolated incident, then outline what the company is doing to address the current issue and what it is doing to make sure it won't happen again. Currently, it seems like your topic is bouncing around.