Date: February 1, 2010
To: All NBC Network employees
From: Jeff Zucker, NBC CEO
Subject: Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien's Time Slot Arrangement
We, as the NBC executives, have written this memo in order to make aware, to all our employees, the extent of our current time slot dilemma as well as our plans of action to resolve it. We would first like to begin by apologizing to not only Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien, but to the entire NBC network and our audience. Throughout the entire process of laying out shows and times for our network, we tired to do so with the interests of our employees and audience in mind. Mr. Leno has been a longtime employee and friend to the NBC network, and we wanted to give him the opportunity to do something different. We thought that by doing this, we would gain more viewers as well as please Mr. Leno. Unfortantely, because the ratings were lower than we expected, we have decided to move the time slots back to their orginial slots in order to make up for a loss of revenue. We were not aware that by doing this, we would create a wave of disruption for our network. At no time during our decision to go back to the original time slots did we mean to disrespect Mr. O'Brien in any way nor did we intened to upset our home viewers. We thought the matter would resolve itself, but it has only gotten worse. The viewers have not accepted this change like we had hoped and are now very dissatisfied with our network. Meanwhile, there has also been some tension between Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien, who have both discussed this matter publicly on their shows. We are also aware that Mr. O'Brien is upset with our network and has even mentioned the possibility of resigning. Having a fellow NBC employee feel the need to leave because of our mistakes is unacceptable. We can't displease our viewers as well as our hosts by remaining idle. We are currently working with Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien to find a solution as quickly as possible to satisfy them and our audience. Once again, we apologize for any inconveniences caused by our network's unfortunate crisis.
Sincerely,
Jeff Zucker
NBC CEO
Workshop Response
1. Formatting of the header is correct.
2. There is no discernible introduction although the first sentence gets the point across. Their subject is to inform the employees of the time slot dilemma and the purpose/main point is what they plan to do to resolve it. The background information is given throughout the rest of the paragraph. The importance of the subject is conveyed through how many times they apologize in the course of the memo.
3. The memo does not have a body nor are there any apparent "divided topics".
4. The memo's concluding sentences (once again there is no discernible concluding paragraph) do not thank the reader, it somewhat looks to the future but does not specifically say what they are trying to obtain in that future, and it vaguely restates the main point.
5. This memo appears to be a Refusal.
6. Does not use the 'you' style at all. The tone fluctuates between making excuses and appearing one-sided to Mr. Leno. There is no bureaucratic phrasing apparent.
P.S. We also noticed a few misspelled words in the course of reading this memo.
Review
The memo formatting is correct, maybe in the subject line they might put "crisis" instead of "arrangement" since the memo does not include what the resolved arrangment will be, it is more addressing that there has been a crisis and they are doing what they can to work to fix it.
Subject-NBC's scheduling and time slot crisis between for Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien
Purpose-to make aware of the crisis that started when NBC changed time slots for Mr. O'brien and Mr.Leno and that they apologize and are doing everything they can to work with the two to settle an arrangement.
Main Point- to apologize to the viewer's, employees and Mr. O'Brien and Mr. Leno and let everyone know they are doing all they can to come to a resolution that makes everyone happy.
Background- they layed out time slots for shows without keeping the employees in mind and upset Mr. Leno and viewers and Mr. O'Brien. O'Brien is even talking about leaving the network. They are doing all they can to work with everyone to please them.
Importance- it effects possibly losing an employee, it effects the viewer's who it upset as well and the ratings for NBC.
Memo's Body- The body is a little bit unclear, separating the work into paragraphs would help divide it up and clarify the author's purpose.
4. This is about the conclusion. Although there are conclusive statements at the end of the memo, it should be a separate paragrapgh.
a)Thank the reader? this memo doesn't as much thank the readers as it just tells them about the incident. It sounds a little more like a press release than a inter-company memo.
b)It states the main point: apologizing.
c)It doesn't look farther into the future than recovering and smoothing over its disgruntled clientele.
5. From what we could tell, it was a Claim letter.
6. It was a little bit formal and vague... two things that could alienate readers rather than unite them.
Internal Memo Draft Workshop
1. While the memo does include a correct header including the date, to, from, and subject lines, the remainder of the memo doesn't seem to be broken up into the appropriate format. It isn't as easy to read to read because it's one bulky paragraph.
2. a. They don't really summarize the issue, they just state that they plan to resolve it.
b. Their purpose is to make their employees aware of their current time slot dilemma regarding Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien.
c. The main point isn't terribly clear because they explain trying to resolve issues between Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien but do not go into great detail about what exactly happened.
d. There isn't much background information. They mention what they want to do about it but not exactly what happened, except to say that the ratings were not as high as they expected.
e. The importance of the subject is highlighted in their mention of the importance of both of these hosts to remain a part of the NBC network.
3. Because the memo is only one paragraph, and isn't divided into topics, it is more tedious to read.
4. a. They do not thank their employees in their memo.
b. They basically restate the main point towards the end of their memo as they mention the issues personally pertaining to each host and how they wish to resolve this.
c. They seem to mention a look to the future as they mention towards the end of their memo that they are working with both Mr. Leno and Mr. O'Brien to resolve the issue.
5. This memo appears to be an Adjustment because they express regret for their problem and state how they intend to fix it.
6. a. They do not use the "you" style.
b. The tone is appropriate for their memo. Concerned yet professional.
c. Their memo seems pretty simple and they seem to avoid bureaucratic phrasing.
NBC comment
One way to revise this memo would be to refine its paragraph structure. This is crucial for the audience of this document, which likely will scan rather than read it.
Remember that a memo usually has three parts: an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. TCT breaks down these sections on pages 457-61. The introduction should address the subject, state the memo's purpose, and clarify the main point that readers should take away. The body should be broken into 2-5 topics, and the conclusion should thank the readers, restate the main point, and look to the future.
There is good material in this draft, but it would be more effective if it were structured in a way that is clear and scannable to the audience.