FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Peter Pan Peanut Butter Contains Salmonella
February 14, 2007
Blakely, GA- On February 14, 2007 the FDA and ConAgra advised consumers to not eat any Peter Pan peanut butter or Great Value peanut butter with the lot number "2111." This batch was produced in a small plant in Blakely GA, but was then distributed to forty-seven different states, Canada, and Europe. It was found that the bacteria salmonella infected this batch because of raw peanuts being too close to the finished peanut butter. Specifically, this type of salmonella poisoning is called "Tennessee." ConAgra is also warning companies who purchased the peanut butter to use in their products to return the peanut butter immediately and recall their products as well. Such products include but are not limited to ice cream, cookie mixes, and cake mixes.
For the specific type of salmonella "Tennessee" poisoning the symptoms are similar to most other salmonella poisonings. Symptoms include fever, diarrhea, and abdominal cramps. The salmonella bacteria should not affect people with normal immune systems, but for people with weakened immune systems (children, the elderly, persons who are already sick), salmonella could get into the bloodstream and cause life-threatening infections. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, go to the hospital immediately.
ConAgra understands that this is a major crisis and is treating this problem with the utmost concern. They are making this issue their number one priority and promising consumers and other companies to handle this crisis swiftly. Steps are being taken to ensure that salmonella does not infect Peter Pan peanut butter again. ConAgra would like to apologize to its consumers and remind them that their policy is still to guarantee 100 percent satisfaction.
Contact Info:
Director of Public Relations
ConAgra
866-344-6970
www.conagrafoods.com
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Response
1) Looks good
2) Your first sentence, "Blakely, GA- On February 14, 2007" seems a little akward. Too many sentences in each paragraph might want to cut it up into shorter paragraphs.
3)Beware of Peter Pan!
4)Peter Pan Peanut butter may contains salmonella...
5)This subject is news worthy. Your syntax needs help, too wordy, simplify.
1. We could add more
1. We could add more background information on ConAgra and the plan on how to fix the problem.
2. Fix the 1st sentence: change "to not eat" to "not to eat."
3. ConAgra Finds Salmonella In Some Of Its Peanut Butter.
4. On February 14, 2007 ConAgra announced that the FDA found Salmonella in its peanut butter beginning with the lot number "2111."
5. Positive: Stuck to facts and followed proper format.
Needs to start with news and then who announced it not the other way around.
GM group's comment
1. Put a space after the date. The paragraphs are a little long; maybe condense them into more succinct paragraphs. Also, the contact information should be at the top.
2. You should include a professional email address for the Director of Public Relations (or their assistant.)
3. Peter Pan Peanut Butter Company Recalls Salmonella Contaminated Product
4. ConAgra Foods is now recalling their Peter Pan Peanut Butter or Great Value peanut butter with the lot number "2111."
5. You dealt with the facts very well. Maybe add which areas have been affected by the recall.
Comment
1. I dont see any formatting issues. The only thing i noticed was in the formating example it said to include background information on the company as well as the issue. Maybe just add a sentence of that in the beginning of the body paragraph.
2. It also seems to follow all of these rules too. Some sentences could be reworded for 'flow' reasons. But other than that all is good.
3. Salmonella Poisoning in Peanut Butter
4. Salmonella bacteria was found in batch '2111' of ConAgra's Peter Pan Peanut Butter and all batches have been recalled.
5. This release deals very well with the facts. It is not an advertisement or anything specifically directed towards consumers as an apology. It works very well as a press release.
"Start with a brief description of the news, then distinguish who announced it, and not the other way around. " This might be where the press release could improve. The first sentence is that ConAgra announced a recall. Im not sure if this is what the sentence means or not though.
peer review
1. The date and city should be on the same line. Need more contanct info (name, company email, physical address).
2. This is lacking a bit of content - focus it more on ConAgra and what the policy steps are. The symptoms and warnings are good but could be better placed at the end as a reminder for readers. What the journalists are mainly interested in, though, is what happened, what it is, and what you're doing about it.
3. Raw Peanuts breed Salmonella in Peter Pan Peanut Butter
4. Blakely, GA - February 14, 2007-Due to a salmonella infestation, ConAgra Foods has issued a recall on all Peter Pan and Great Value peanut butter under lot '2111'.
5. Ask yourself, "How are people going to relate to this and will they be able to connect?" :The symptoms and warnings show that you are thinking of your consumers.
Make sure you wait until you have something with enough substance to issue a release: Your issue is definitely newsworthy, but the press release should be too - make sure you include ConAgra's apology early, and repeat it if necessary, as well as the policy decisions ConAgra has made/is implementing to prevent this crisis and solve the current problem.
re: Press Release for Peter Pan
This is a good draft. It would be useful to specify in the last paragraph what changes are being made to find out the outbreak's cause and make sure it won't happen again, if possible. In many situations, there isn't much you can say, because you don't know anything for sure yet, and if you make specific claims (such as "it was the peanut growers!") you can put yourself in a legally actionable position. What would be good would be to state that you're fully cooperating with the FDA, CDC, local health organizations, growers, suppliers, etc. to get answers.