Form and Style
Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
There are no parts missing that I see.
Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes
Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
The content of the letter fits the occasion. The writer is concise and to the point.
Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
Yes, the author tells about their strengths and current responsibilities.
Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
No
Content/Rhetorical Context
Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
The author discusses the job ad, but they could reference a little more than just sales. Tell why your other qualifications would be a good fit for that job.
Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes because they have worked in the moving business before and are used to coordinating people.
Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes they do. They speak of their current job and the skills required.
Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes it does
Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
No, they need to add a phone number and email. They need to end with why they are the best fit and what they can do for the employer.
What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
Add a phone number and email to the last paragraph.
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
All 5 parts are there
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
All text is lined up with the left margin.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
The letter fits this occasion, it is not too formal
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I believe the tone is good. The writer seems as though they want this position and are going to offer a lot
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
the second sentence, passionate needs to be changed to passion
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
This letter says what was done at the other jobs, but doesn’t really lay them out as skills.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, they believe that they can offer skills to Tom James, and they will in return gain new skills.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
The terms are recognizable to people in the job field, however, I still look at these as tasks completed, and not skills.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes, all of these are answered. However, I don’t feel as though it explains why they are interested in Tom Jones as a company until the end of the letter
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
No, they don’t tell them how to be contacted, add a number and email
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
They must add an email and number to the end. Also I would recommend adding why they are interested in Tom jones in a different paragraph and have more of a formal closing paragraph
Comments
hope this helps
Form and Style
Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
There are no parts missing that I see.
Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes
Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
The content of the letter fits the occasion. The writer is concise and to the point.
Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
Yes, the author tells about their strengths and current responsibilities.
Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
No
Content/Rhetorical Context
Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
The author discusses the job ad, but they could reference a little more than just sales. Tell why your other qualifications would be a good fit for that job.
Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes because they have worked in the moving business before and are used to coordinating people.
Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes they do. They speak of their current job and the skills required.
Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes it does
Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
No, they need to add a phone number and email. They need to end with why they are the best fit and what they can do for the employer.
What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
Add a phone number and email to the last paragraph.
comments
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
All 5 parts are there
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
All text is lined up with the left margin.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
The letter fits this occasion, it is not too formal
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I believe the tone is good. The writer seems as though they want this position and are going to offer a lot
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
the second sentence, passionate needs to be changed to passion
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
This letter says what was done at the other jobs, but doesn’t really lay them out as skills.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, they believe that they can offer skills to Tom James, and they will in return gain new skills.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
The terms are recognizable to people in the job field, however, I still look at these as tasks completed, and not skills.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes, all of these are answered. However, I don’t feel as though it explains why they are interested in Tom Jones as a company until the end of the letter
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
No, they don’t tell them how to be contacted, add a number and email
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
They must add an email and number to the end. Also I would recommend adding why they are interested in Tom jones in a different paragraph and have more of a formal closing paragraph