1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing? Everything is included. Consider adding Enclosure: Resume at the end
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)? Yes.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain. This seems appropriate for the position being applied for
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain. She uses great examples without making herself out to be the best employee ever. Very balanced between enthusiatic without bragging.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft. I could not find any.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better? Yes it speaks directly to the job and it seems as though she knows what the qualifications of the job are and how she meets those qualifications.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain. Yes through her course work at Purdue and her internship with the same company she’s applying for.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize? I think that it was appropriate for her position but could use terms used in the business if she needed to.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited? The source is not identified but other reasons are give and reasons why she is qualified are identified.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain. Her contact info is there and it ends on a high note
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain. Maybe take the hyperlink off at the end where you list your contact info and add the place where you found the job ad in the intro paragraph.
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Yes, the letter has all the necessary parts.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes, the writer uses block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
I think the style of letter is perfect for the occasion. My only suggestion here would be if the writer feels comfortable since she has worked at Finlay Enterprises and is working there currently, she might be able to close with something besides sincerely but that is fine too!
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I think the writer has the right tone. She states her desire for the job because she is passionate about fine jewelry and includes her qualifications with examples from her experiences at Finlay Enterprises.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
I can't see any spelling errors but I would remove the hyper link from your e-mail address.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
The letter is directed towards the job ad by showing her qualifications towards the responsibilities of the position. My only suggestion would be finding the name of the HR Coordinator since the writer has an internship there currently. Also since she mentions her resume, it would be helpful to mention the resume in an enclosure at the bottom of the letter.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, she states her passion for fine jewelry and past experiences at Finlay Enterprises. She states her desire to continue to work there and that she has enjoyed working there in the past year.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, the writer mentions specific tasks she has completed at Finlay with her manager.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
The introductory paragraph includes everything but the source but since she is currently working there, I assume she learned about the position at work.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes, the conclusion includes the telephone number and e-mail address and the writer states she hopes to hear from the company in the near future.
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think it is a great cover letter! My only suggestion would be to add more specific tasks that are unique to Finlay Enterprises or a large project or something that you completed in your internship! Good job!
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
-Everything is there
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
-Yes
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
-At times it might be a little informal, but very formal at other times too
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
-The right tone is taken, very enthusiastic
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
-No
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
-The letter speaks directly to the job ad
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
-Yes specific reasons are mentioned
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
-She used the right terms because she is interning there so that helps
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
-yes
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
-Yes
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
-The writer did a great job, she knew exactly what to write
Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing? YES, could include a resume reference at the end?
Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)? YES
Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain. Yes, very much
Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain. Yes, the writer was very professional about what they were wanting out of being in the human resource area.
Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft. NO
Content/Rhetorical Context
Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better? No, could refer to the add where you found the job application.
Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain. Yes, she speaks about how she has worked for this firm before in previous years, and also her college degree.
Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize? Yes
Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited? YES
Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? YES
Does the letter end on a high note? Explain. Yes, it leaves the reader really wanting to call this person and hire them for the job!
What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain. Maybe add a "enclosure" at the end, but other than that it was a great cover letter
Comments
Peer Edit
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing? Everything is included. Consider adding Enclosure: Resume at the end
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)? Yes.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain. This seems appropriate for the position being applied for
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain. She uses great examples without making herself out to be the best employee ever. Very balanced between enthusiatic without bragging.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft. I could not find any.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better? Yes it speaks directly to the job and it seems as though she knows what the qualifications of the job are and how she meets those qualifications.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain. Yes through her course work at Purdue and her internship with the same company she’s applying for.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize? I think that it was appropriate for her position but could use terms used in the business if she needed to.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited? The source is not identified but other reasons are give and reasons why she is qualified are identified.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain. Her contact info is there and it ends on a high note
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain. Maybe take the hyperlink off at the end where you list your contact info and add the place where you found the job ad in the intro paragraph.
Hope this helps!
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Yes, the letter has all the necessary parts.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes, the writer uses block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
I think the style of letter is perfect for the occasion. My only suggestion here would be if the writer feels comfortable since she has worked at Finlay Enterprises and is working there currently, she might be able to close with something besides sincerely but that is fine too!
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I think the writer has the right tone. She states her desire for the job because she is passionate about fine jewelry and includes her qualifications with examples from her experiences at Finlay Enterprises.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
I can't see any spelling errors but I would remove the hyper link from your e-mail address.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
The letter is directed towards the job ad by showing her qualifications towards the responsibilities of the position. My only suggestion would be finding the name of the HR Coordinator since the writer has an internship there currently. Also since she mentions her resume, it would be helpful to mention the resume in an enclosure at the bottom of the letter.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, she states her passion for fine jewelry and past experiences at Finlay Enterprises. She states her desire to continue to work there and that she has enjoyed working there in the past year.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, the writer mentions specific tasks she has completed at Finlay with her manager.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
The introductory paragraph includes everything but the source but since she is currently working there, I assume she learned about the position at work.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes, the conclusion includes the telephone number and e-mail address and the writer states she hopes to hear from the company in the near future.
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think it is a great cover letter! My only suggestion would be to add more specific tasks that are unique to Finlay Enterprises or a large project or something that you completed in your internship! Good job!
Cover Letter Peer Editing
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
-Everything is there
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
-Yes
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
-At times it might be a little informal, but very formal at other times too
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
-The right tone is taken, very enthusiastic
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
-No
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
-The letter speaks directly to the job ad
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
-Yes specific reasons are mentioned
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
-She used the right terms because she is interning there so that helps
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
-yes
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
-Yes
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
-The writer did a great job, she knew exactly what to write
Cover Letter Peer Editing
Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing? YES, could include a resume reference at the end?
Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)? YES
Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain. Yes, very much
Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain. Yes, the writer was very professional about what they were wanting out of being in the human resource area.
Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft. NO
Content/Rhetorical Context
Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better? No, could refer to the add where you found the job application.
Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain. Yes, she speaks about how she has worked for this firm before in previous years, and also her college degree.
Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize? Yes
Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited? YES
Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? YES
Does the letter end on a high note? Explain. Yes, it leaves the reader really wanting to call this person and hire them for the job!
What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain. Maybe add a "enclosure" at the end, but other than that it was a great cover letter