1) Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
- Yes, all of the necessary components are included.
2) Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
- The use of block format is present.
3) Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
- The style of the letter is not too informal, yet it is not too formal.
4) Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
- Yes the writer uses the right tone. The letter contains information that shows the writer is confident in what he does which is always a plus.
5) Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
- None
6) Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
- Good use of keywords is present. The writer explained, in good detail, the qualifications he has met throughout his education career.
7) Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
- Yes, he let the reader know why he is interested in the position he is applying for and what makes him an excellent candidate for it.
8 Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
- Yes
9) Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
- Yes. The only suggestion I would make would be to incorporate the first sentence into the first paragraph.
10) Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
- No, the writer left out contact information. Include a phone number or email address in the conclusion paragraph. The letter definitely ends on a high note. The writer stated again just how interested he is in the position and mentioned he would follow up to make sure the employer received the information which is always a good thing.
11) What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
- The only revision I would recommend is to include contact information at the end to re-assure the employer on how to get in contact with you. Also leave a space between the closing and your name for your signature to make it look more professional. Other than that, good job!
Form and Style
1.Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Yes. The letter includes all the necessary components.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes. The writer has adapted block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
Yes. Being formal basically, he explained his personal qualities and interest toward the job, whichi makes the letter not too formal.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
Yes. He took the right tone, not gushing or bragging.
5.Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
I see no spelling or mechanical errors in this letter.
Content/Rhetorical Context
6. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
Yes. the writer has focused on refering specifically to the job ad, using keyworkds.
7.Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes. He has utilized his lab experiences and club activities to make himself a well-suited candidate.
8.Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Although the letter is well organized by refering adequate personal qualities, I think using terminology is missing. So I would recommend using some terminologies that other lab assistant often use.
9.Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes. It clearly states the position applied for, its source, and the major reasons why the writer is well-suited.
10.Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview?
The writer expresses his eagerness to have a chance to be interviewed or talk about himself some more in the future, however, I think adding a phone number or email address in the last paragraph might be more emphasizing your eagerness.
11.Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes. I mentioned about this before.
12. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think this cover letter doesn't contain any critical point to be revised. However, if I have to mention at leat one thing, I would suggest you find out the recruiter's name and mention directly his/her name to show that you have made one more effort than other candidates to get to know about the company.
Good luck!
Comments
Feedback
1) Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
- Yes, all of the necessary components are included.
2) Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
- The use of block format is present.
3) Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
- The style of the letter is not too informal, yet it is not too formal.
4) Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
- Yes the writer uses the right tone. The letter contains information that shows the writer is confident in what he does which is always a plus.
5) Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
- None
6) Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
- Good use of keywords is present. The writer explained, in good detail, the qualifications he has met throughout his education career.
7) Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
- Yes, he let the reader know why he is interested in the position he is applying for and what makes him an excellent candidate for it.
8 Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
- Yes
9) Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
- Yes. The only suggestion I would make would be to incorporate the first sentence into the first paragraph.
10) Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
- No, the writer left out contact information. Include a phone number or email address in the conclusion paragraph. The letter definitely ends on a high note. The writer stated again just how interested he is in the position and mentioned he would follow up to make sure the employer received the information which is always a good thing.
11) What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
- The only revision I would recommend is to include contact information at the end to re-assure the employer on how to get in contact with you. Also leave a space between the closing and your name for your signature to make it look more professional. Other than that, good job!
Comments
Form and Style
1.Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Yes. The letter includes all the necessary components.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes. The writer has adapted block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
Yes. Being formal basically, he explained his personal qualities and interest toward the job, whichi makes the letter not too formal.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
Yes. He took the right tone, not gushing or bragging.
5.Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
I see no spelling or mechanical errors in this letter.
Content/Rhetorical Context
6. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
Yes. the writer has focused on refering specifically to the job ad, using keyworkds.
7.Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes. He has utilized his lab experiences and club activities to make himself a well-suited candidate.
8.Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Although the letter is well organized by refering adequate personal qualities, I think using terminology is missing. So I would recommend using some terminologies that other lab assistant often use.
9.Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes. It clearly states the position applied for, its source, and the major reasons why the writer is well-suited.
10.Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview?
The writer expresses his eagerness to have a chance to be interviewed or talk about himself some more in the future, however, I think adding a phone number or email address in the last paragraph might be more emphasizing your eagerness.
11.Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes. I mentioned about this before.
12. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think this cover letter doesn't contain any critical point to be revised. However, if I have to mention at leat one thing, I would suggest you find out the recruiter's name and mention directly his/her name to show that you have made one more effort than other candidates to get to know about the company.
Good luck!