The letter has almost all the necessary components. It contains only your addresses. You should try to locate the address of the corporation you are applying for, and if you can try to find the name of the person you are sending the application too. If not you could use "Dear Sir or Madam," that works well too. Other than that, the rest of the components are all there. The letter is in block format and is formal in context. The tone is pretty good, but there are some lines that I would suggest you could probably leave out. Some of these include, "Allow me to elaborate further so you can obtain a better perspective as to why hiring me would benefit your company." As an employer I would think they would be anticipating doing this anyways, so I don't think it is necessary to write it. In the end when you say, "I think it would be worthwhile for us too meet," I know you both would probably have this mentality but you should try to make it more based on them making the decision rather than you demanding the meeting. I know what you were trying to say, but you might want to rethink the wording. However, this is just a suggestion. You maintained a good tone throughout the letter and provided enough information that you are indeed qualified for the position.
Content/ Rhetorical Context
You did a good job identifying the position and providing good examples of your background work to fit the position, it fits the job ad, and I would change much other than minor tweaking. If you included some information to say why you are applying for the position it would make it stronger. The employer probably wants to know why you are so passionate for that area of work so they know what kind of person they may be getting. When you were discussing past work experience you did a good job of using the correct terminology that would make you stand out from other applicants, so with that context I wouldn't change much at all. You did a good job explaining why you are qualified for the position, like I said earlier. You have a strong conclusion as well. You provides two contact methods and end with a good salutation. You could probably put your salutation line with the rest of the conclusion paragraph, however. And, like I said earlier, you could tweak the first sentence of the conclusion paragraph a little bit. The advice I would give you is to try to make the letter more for the company. Make your text focused on them so they know what kind of person they may be getting. I know you are trying to make your letter sound like you are more qualified than others, it is the whole point of the application process, but try to use words that don't blatantly say that, just make it an underlying message the employer will be able to decipher. Good job otherwise, this was a pretty solid letter.
Daniel, I like your use of heading style and how it ties in nicely with your resume. It appears that you have included most of the necessary components; however, I would also include the recipients address as well. Other than that I believe you used the block style effectively. The style of your letter is just right, and I feel that your tone provided the right amount of interest in the job without being over enthusiastic, and there were no spelling or mechanical errors that I could notice. You did a good job of addressing the job ad and including keywords, as well as, showing how you were qualified for the position. The terminology you use is easy to recognize and your introduction and conclusion paragraphs both include the necessary information. The only other comments I have would to find out who you are sending the letter to so you can address if more specifically to them, and to be sure to include the heading of who the letter is being sent to, following the block style formatting. Other than that it looks good.
Form and Style
1. Yes the letter includes all the necessary components of a well written cover letter.
2. Yes all of the text is flush with the left margin.
3. I think it does a good job of fitting the occasion. It is presented in a very formal fashion but is not overly done.
4. I think the tone is ok but could be improved. I think the writer needs to sound more enthusiastic and mention more about what he knows about the Boeing Company.
5. I could not find any spelling or mechanical errors
Content
1. I think it speaks directly to the job ad but could use more keywords in discussing his qualifications
2. Yes the writer expressed reasons but not excitement for the job. I think if he can show more excitement he would have a better shot at the job.
3. Yes he specifically references courses and other things that he has learned.
4. Yes, however I think it very basic, just like most of the others that would be submitted for the position.
5. Yes it leaves a phone number and email address where he can be reached
6. I think that the writer just needs to make it less like every other one and make the letter more unique.
Form and Style
1. Yes. The letter includes all the necessary components. It would be even better it you could find the person you are applying for or use some more formal word instead. But other than that everything looks great!
2. The letter is in block format and is formal in context. All text flushes with the left margin too.
3. The style of the letter suit the occasion well. It fits well with the purpose of the writing sounding not too formal also not too informal. I think you balanced well.
4. Yes. You are using the right tone giving enough information to follow. Your tone is consistent giving me impressions that you are not just laying down bunch of information but supports and explains well about yourself.
5. I am not sure about any spelling or mechanical error since I’m not so good at English but it seems like there aren’t any. It looks perfect to me but you should check with someone else for this to make sure.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Yes. You did a wonderful job on mentioning the job ad using the keywords to organize your ability. I liked how you gave me a background of your work to fit the position.
2. I could understand and get the feeling why you are applying for the position, but it would be even better if you use some direct words to explain specific reason why you are applying.
3. Yes. You did a good job on explaining why you qualify for the job. I could see that you were using exact terminology while you talked about your work experience.
4. Yes. Starting second sentence, you mentioned the position you are applying and where you got the source as well why you are well-suited.
5. Yes. You have provided your phone number, email address for further discussion.
6. Your cover letter seems overall great but like I mentioned above, it would be better to explain why you are applying for the position. But I think you did a good job on your cover letter!
Comments
Cover Letter Review
Form and Style
The letter has almost all the necessary components. It contains only your addresses. You should try to locate the address of the corporation you are applying for, and if you can try to find the name of the person you are sending the application too. If not you could use "Dear Sir or Madam," that works well too. Other than that, the rest of the components are all there. The letter is in block format and is formal in context. The tone is pretty good, but there are some lines that I would suggest you could probably leave out. Some of these include, "Allow me to elaborate further so you can obtain a better perspective as to why hiring me would benefit your company." As an employer I would think they would be anticipating doing this anyways, so I don't think it is necessary to write it. In the end when you say, "I think it would be worthwhile for us too meet," I know you both would probably have this mentality but you should try to make it more based on them making the decision rather than you demanding the meeting. I know what you were trying to say, but you might want to rethink the wording. However, this is just a suggestion. You maintained a good tone throughout the letter and provided enough information that you are indeed qualified for the position.
Content/ Rhetorical Context
You did a good job identifying the position and providing good examples of your background work to fit the position, it fits the job ad, and I would change much other than minor tweaking. If you included some information to say why you are applying for the position it would make it stronger. The employer probably wants to know why you are so passionate for that area of work so they know what kind of person they may be getting. When you were discussing past work experience you did a good job of using the correct terminology that would make you stand out from other applicants, so with that context I wouldn't change much at all. You did a good job explaining why you are qualified for the position, like I said earlier. You have a strong conclusion as well. You provides two contact methods and end with a good salutation. You could probably put your salutation line with the rest of the conclusion paragraph, however. And, like I said earlier, you could tweak the first sentence of the conclusion paragraph a little bit. The advice I would give you is to try to make the letter more for the company. Make your text focused on them so they know what kind of person they may be getting. I know you are trying to make your letter sound like you are more qualified than others, it is the whole point of the application process, but try to use words that don't blatantly say that, just make it an underlying message the employer will be able to decipher. Good job otherwise, this was a pretty solid letter.
Cover Letter Comments
Daniel, I like your use of heading style and how it ties in nicely with your resume. It appears that you have included most of the necessary components; however, I would also include the recipients address as well. Other than that I believe you used the block style effectively. The style of your letter is just right, and I feel that your tone provided the right amount of interest in the job without being over enthusiastic, and there were no spelling or mechanical errors that I could notice. You did a good job of addressing the job ad and including keywords, as well as, showing how you were qualified for the position. The terminology you use is easy to recognize and your introduction and conclusion paragraphs both include the necessary information. The only other comments I have would to find out who you are sending the letter to so you can address if more specifically to them, and to be sure to include the heading of who the letter is being sent to, following the block style formatting. Other than that it looks good.
cover letter edit
Form and Style
1. Yes the letter includes all the necessary components of a well written cover letter.
2. Yes all of the text is flush with the left margin.
3. I think it does a good job of fitting the occasion. It is presented in a very formal fashion but is not overly done.
4. I think the tone is ok but could be improved. I think the writer needs to sound more enthusiastic and mention more about what he knows about the Boeing Company.
5. I could not find any spelling or mechanical errors
Content
1. I think it speaks directly to the job ad but could use more keywords in discussing his qualifications
2. Yes the writer expressed reasons but not excitement for the job. I think if he can show more excitement he would have a better shot at the job.
3. Yes he specifically references courses and other things that he has learned.
4. Yes, however I think it very basic, just like most of the others that would be submitted for the position.
5. Yes it leaves a phone number and email address where he can be reached
6. I think that the writer just needs to make it less like every other one and make the letter more unique.
Comments
Form and Style
1. Yes. The letter includes all the necessary components. It would be even better it you could find the person you are applying for or use some more formal word instead. But other than that everything looks great!
2. The letter is in block format and is formal in context. All text flushes with the left margin too.
3. The style of the letter suit the occasion well. It fits well with the purpose of the writing sounding not too formal also not too informal. I think you balanced well.
4. Yes. You are using the right tone giving enough information to follow. Your tone is consistent giving me impressions that you are not just laying down bunch of information but supports and explains well about yourself.
5. I am not sure about any spelling or mechanical error since I’m not so good at English but it seems like there aren’t any. It looks perfect to me but you should check with someone else for this to make sure.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Yes. You did a wonderful job on mentioning the job ad using the keywords to organize your ability. I liked how you gave me a background of your work to fit the position.
2. I could understand and get the feeling why you are applying for the position, but it would be even better if you use some direct words to explain specific reason why you are applying.
3. Yes. You did a good job on explaining why you qualify for the job. I could see that you were using exact terminology while you talked about your work experience.
4. Yes. Starting second sentence, you mentioned the position you are applying and where you got the source as well why you are well-suited.
5. Yes. You have provided your phone number, email address for further discussion.
6. Your cover letter seems overall great but like I mentioned above, it would be better to explain why you are applying for the position. But I think you did a good job on your cover letter!