Cover Letter

amwillis's picture

Open to all suggestions!

Comments

Suchet's picture

comment

i think your cover letter is pretty good. it include all the necessary components such as return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion. You used the right formate and the style your letter is written in suits the job you are applying for. i like the way,your cover letter is short and to the point i think that would work as an advantage because the interviewers have around 30 secs per cover letter and resume. You also did a pretty good job mentioning specific reasons why you applied for the job. over all i think you did a good job on writing a cover letter for a summer internship

squasny's picture

Peer Editing -Cover Letter

1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
The letter includes all the necessary components. I think that is best to make a header that is identical to your resumes header.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes, the writer uses the block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
The style of the letter fits the occasion. It fits the situation because it is important to be the right amount of formal when writing a cover letter for a job in childcare. This shows the responsibility and knowledge of the applicant.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain
The writer comes off as being enthusiastic about her position and how much she enjoys children and volunteering with children related programs.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
There are no spelling or mechanical errors.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
The writer used her past experience to describe her knowledge of the position. However, I didn’t see specific keywords from the job ad, it seems she covered everything that would be mentioned.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
The writer’s specific reasons include her education at Purdue and the different types of experience and volunteering that qualifies her for position.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
She uses terminology such as listening, conflict resolution, empathy, communication, and teamwork skills to describe her experience in the field.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
The position applied for is stated in the first sentence and the major reasons why the writer is well-suited including education and past work experience. The source of the position is not mentioned.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
The conclusion includes the writer’s phone number and email address. The letter ends on a high note because the writer mentioned how honored she’d be to work at that position.
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think the most important revision would be to mention where the source of job ad came from. The writer did a great job explaining how she is qualified for the position.

pkamdar's picture

Feedback

Feedback
1) Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
- Yes, all of the necessary components are included.
2) Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
- yes it is used.
3) Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain?
Very well explained and written letter. I like the tone used. It is not too formal neither informal.
4) Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
- Yes the writer uses the right tone. The letter contains information that shows that the writer is pretty much interested for the job.
5) Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
- None that I could find.
6) Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
- Efficient use of key words as well as previous Job Skills, describe how best fit you are for the job.
7) Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
- Yes, she lets the reader know why she is interested in the job. I think she has used her job experience as well as her volunteer activities pretty well to describe how she has learned something before and how her skills can be used by the company.,
8 Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
- Yes
9) Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
- Yes it does but I think it can be stated in a better way
10) Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
- yes, the writer has all contact information. The letter definitely ends on a high note. The writer has stated how honored she would be to have the job and would want to meet in person to discuss further.
11) What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
- The only revision I would recommend is to restate the first paragraph as well as have some gap between signing note and her name so she can sign there to be a little more professional. I like the tone of the letter. Over all I think you have done a great job!!

archit's picture

comment

Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
It has everything but the header. The header as mentioned in the instructor's blog should be identical to that of the resume.

2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
yes the eriter uses the block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
yes the style of the letter suit the ovvasion. Its perfect. She is being formal and at the same time by mentioning her passion for children she makes it a bit informal making it a suit the occasion.

4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
yes. She is enthusiastic about working with children, and she states all her skills developed with the help of past experiences.

5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
No

Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
yes the letter speaks directly to the job ad by mentioning the the keywords such as, "listening, conflict resolution, empathy, communication, and teamwork skills."

2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
yes, the writer has mentioned specific reasons. She says that she loves working with children.

3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
yes she states various skills such as, "listening, conflict resolution, empathy, communication, and teamwork skills." which would be recognized by other experienced people.

4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
She doesnt mentions the source of the advertisement and also the major reason in the first paragraph.

5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes the writer mentions the way she could be contacted for interview or any sort of querry. the letter ends on a high note. The writer seems to be confident about her skills.

6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
What i noticed in the letter was that the author has mentioned a lot of things which are also present on the resume and thus should be omitted from the letter such as the school year and the degree. She also talks about the previous jobs which again dnt need to be mentioned for they are present on the resume.