Cover Letter

jcummins's picture

Here is my cover letter. Please let me know if there is anything I can fix. Thanks for the help!

Comments

cover letter peer editing

I liked your cover letter. Was short and sweet.

Cover Letter Peer Editing

Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
The letter contained all the necessary components.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes everything is lined up nicely.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
I think the style of the letter is professional.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I think the tone is appropriate, however you might want to show some kind of enthusiasm. Your passion for your career is not entirely apparent.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
I did not see any errors.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
Yes the letter speaks directly to the job ad. Perhaps if you could add something from your research of the company it would make it a little better.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, listing how previous experience and the knowledge gained from Purdue helps explain why he applied for the job.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, I think providing the equipment you've used and explaining where you can be positioned from surveying the foreman was a good touch.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
I thought your introduction was laid out very well. You discussed everything that is needed for a good introduction.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
The conclusion does provide the contact information, but it does not necessary end on a high note. It seemed like a pretty standard conclusion, kind of sterile. You might want to add something to show your excitement to get the position.
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think just by adding a little of your personality, your cover letter will speak more of who you are. As opposed to just showing what you have accomplished.