Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
This letter contains all the necessary components
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes, Block format was used and all text is aligned to the left margin
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
I think that this letter suits the occasion. You are applying for a medical position so you need to be formal but you aren’t too formal either. It sounds just right.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
You sound very highly qualified for this position but at no time did I feel like you were bragging. I think this was because you had the right tone in your writing to make you sound as if you are just stating what you really feel and not trying to brag. Good job!
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
I did not notice any mechanical or spelling errors but I may not be much help in that area because I have problems spotting my own!
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
You do a good job with stating the company’s name when you mentioned contributing to the company. I don’t have any suggestions other then maybe you could have used the experiences that you have stated and somehow related them to how you will use that in their company.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, you have stated that you want this position so you can gain pre-hospital experience. Maybe here you can also state how you wanting this position will benefit the company because in the end all that matters is what you can do for the company and not what they can do for you.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, your certification abbreviations are not something I would understand but are very suitable for the position and for the people who will be interviewing and reviewing your application.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
You state the position and its source but I don’t know that there is a major reason why you are suited for the position. Is this your major? Or are you suppose to take a sentence and state not only why you want the position but why you are suited for it too?
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes. You have left your number and email address as contacts and also restate your interest in the position and also thank them for their time
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
More clearly defining/stating how your skills will directly benefit the company.
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Everything is present, I like that you used the same heading as the resume. I thought that was a good suggestion in the blog and was a good thing to include.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
It seems to suit the occasion well.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I believe you did this very well. Your enthusiasm and qualifications were included very well and at no point did I feel like you were bragging or exaggerating your abilities. I thought this was one of the strongest parts of your letter.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
Intro paragraph, 4th line:
“Also, I have been and Indiana certified EMT-B for over one year.” The “and” should be “an”
2nd Paragraph, 2nd:
“I have gained significant experience in both jobs in which would allow me to contribute greatly to Life Ambulance Service.” I’m not an English major, but it sounds better to me if you change “in which” to “that”.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
It’s a pretty short job ad, I’m not sure you could add any more key words without just copying and pasting the whole ad.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, you did a great job of this explaining your past experiences and your future goals related to the field.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, especially when you list your certifications.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes, in fact I believe it does so better than my own cover letter.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes, the contact information is there and you use positive phrases like “I look forward to hearing from you […]”
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I would just re-read it one or two more times and try and make sure you catch the small spelling mistakes and that is sounds the way you want it to.
Overall I think you have a great cover letter. Not to overboost your ego, but I was stuck half way through mine and was not getting what I needed from the book. So I began reading the letters already posted and liked yours the best, so I read it over twice along with the instructor blog on cover letters and then finished my own. So I felt you did an excellent job.
Comments
Peer review
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
This letter contains all the necessary components
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes, Block format was used and all text is aligned to the left margin
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
I think that this letter suits the occasion. You are applying for a medical position so you need to be formal but you aren’t too formal either. It sounds just right.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
You sound very highly qualified for this position but at no time did I feel like you were bragging. I think this was because you had the right tone in your writing to make you sound as if you are just stating what you really feel and not trying to brag. Good job!
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
I did not notice any mechanical or spelling errors but I may not be much help in that area because I have problems spotting my own!
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
You do a good job with stating the company’s name when you mentioned contributing to the company. I don’t have any suggestions other then maybe you could have used the experiences that you have stated and somehow related them to how you will use that in their company.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, you have stated that you want this position so you can gain pre-hospital experience. Maybe here you can also state how you wanting this position will benefit the company because in the end all that matters is what you can do for the company and not what they can do for you.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, your certification abbreviations are not something I would understand but are very suitable for the position and for the people who will be interviewing and reviewing your application.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
You state the position and its source but I don’t know that there is a major reason why you are suited for the position. Is this your major? Or are you suppose to take a sentence and state not only why you want the position but why you are suited for it too?
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes. You have left your number and email address as contacts and also restate your interest in the position and also thank them for their time
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
More clearly defining/stating how your skills will directly benefit the company.
RE: Cover Letter Life Ambulance Service
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Everything is present, I like that you used the same heading as the resume. I thought that was a good suggestion in the blog and was a good thing to include.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
It seems to suit the occasion well.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I believe you did this very well. Your enthusiasm and qualifications were included very well and at no point did I feel like you were bragging or exaggerating your abilities. I thought this was one of the strongest parts of your letter.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
Intro paragraph, 4th line:
“Also, I have been and Indiana certified EMT-B for over one year.” The “and” should be “an”
2nd Paragraph, 2nd:
“I have gained significant experience in both jobs in which would allow me to contribute greatly to Life Ambulance Service.” I’m not an English major, but it sounds better to me if you change “in which” to “that”.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
It’s a pretty short job ad, I’m not sure you could add any more key words without just copying and pasting the whole ad.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes, you did a great job of this explaining your past experiences and your future goals related to the field.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, especially when you list your certifications.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Yes, in fact I believe it does so better than my own cover letter.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes, the contact information is there and you use positive phrases like “I look forward to hearing from you […]”
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I would just re-read it one or two more times and try and make sure you catch the small spelling mistakes and that is sounds the way you want it to.
Overall I think you have a great cover letter. Not to overboost your ego, but I was stuck half way through mine and was not getting what I needed from the book. So I began reading the letters already posted and liked yours the best, so I read it over twice along with the instructor blog on cover letters and then finished my own. So I felt you did an excellent job.