Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
You include all the necessary information.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes, all the text is in block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
Your letter is very appropriate. It is not too casual yet is not too formal. You are respectful in addressing the letter and by signing “respectfully”. You do not use any slang. Your writing is very professional.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
You sound very excited about the position and company. You can tell that you have enjoyed your previous jobs and would like the opportunity for this job. You are not even close to gushing – you have a nice balance! Good job!
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
The last sentence in your first paragraph seems a little awkward to me. Maybe use state-of-the-art or one of the best in the Minor Leagues. It almost seems like you’re trying to put too much in one sentence.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
You do a great job referencing experience and how it could help the company. You could possibly give details of a certain situation in the past. You could do so when you talk about taking on a supervisory role. Your details in the following paragraph really help the reader see your experience. I really like how you gave examples of your experience without too much detail. You could always reference another key term from the job ad if possible.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
You do a great job mentioning how you would like to work for this company. You do so by showing your excitement for working at such a great ballpark.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
You do a good job highlighting key terms. Your previous experience really helps your chances. The reader could easily see you know what you are doing.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Your first paragraph definitely introduces the position and how you found it. You definitely give good reasons as to why you are suited for the job.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
I really like your last paragraph. You can see how you want the job. You give multiple ways to be contacted. You end on a great note. Good job!
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think one thing you could do is give a specific example like I mentioned before. Good job overall!
Comments
Cover Letter Review
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraph(s), and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
You include all the necessary information.
2. Does the writer use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes, all the text is in block format.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal? Too formal or generic? Explain.
Your letter is very appropriate. It is not too casual yet is not too formal. You are respectful in addressing the letter and by signing “respectfully”. You do not use any slang. Your writing is very professional.
4. Does the writer take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
You sound very excited about the position and company. You can tell that you have enjoyed your previous jobs and would like the opportunity for this job. You are not even close to gushing – you have a nice balance! Good job!
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them, either by listing them here or by circling them on a printed draft.
The last sentence in your first paragraph seems a little awkward to me. Maybe use state-of-the-art or one of the best in the Minor Leagues. It almost seems like you’re trying to put too much in one sentence.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of his or her qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
You do a great job referencing experience and how it could help the company. You could possibly give details of a certain situation in the past. You could do so when you talk about taking on a supervisory role. Your details in the following paragraph really help the reader see your experience. I really like how you gave examples of your experience without too much detail. You could always reference another key term from the job ad if possible.
2. Does the writer mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
You do a great job mentioning how you would like to work for this company. You do so by showing your excitement for working at such a great ballpark.
3. Does the writer identify specific skills, using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
You do a good job highlighting key terms. Your previous experience really helps your chances. The reader could easily see you know what you are doing.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the writer is well-suited?
Your first paragraph definitely introduces the position and how you found it. You definitely give good reasons as to why you are suited for the job.
5. Does the conclusion say how the writer can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
I really like your last paragraph. You can see how you want the job. You give multiple ways to be contacted. You end on a great note. Good job!
6. What is the most important revision the writer should make? Explain.
I think one thing you could do is give a specific example like I mentioned before. Good job overall!