JetBlue Press Release
Sun, 07/01/2007 - 09:52 — aurban
Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated. As you read through, let me know if you think I have enough detail. This is one of my biggest initial concerns. Thanks!
Comments
Press Release Critique
I really like the format of your press release. I hadn’t even thought of using their logo or putting it in a format like this – good job! It looks very professional and it’s very easy to read. I really like your first sentence as well because it is at the heart of the message you want readers to learn. As for your concerns about content, I think you did a good job including information. Maybe add in detail about the safety regulations (certified by FAA and Department of Transportation). Maybe also add detail on how the weather was key in the delays. Also maybe talk about how the weather is unpredictable and JetBlue tried to do their best in the given situation. Overall you did a great job. The details and wording you used were very good.
Peer Edit
Overall your concern about content shouldnt be a concern. You covered every part of the situation. I would suggest to you try to avoid the area where you talk about frozen equipment and flight staff needing time to recover as it sounds like you are making excuses for the delays instead of saying the weather is unpredictable and that was the biggest reason flights were delayed. I would also suggest reorganizing your information into paragraphs of 1) here's what happened and then 2) this is how we are going to make the situation right. You blend both of those two into each paragraph and maybe the page could flow better if you decided to break up into 2 paragraphs. Other than that, and that you should check your abbreviations for JFK (JKF in the second paragraph) this will be a solid press release.
Suggestions
I think you have a very strong press release. I know you are concerned about the detail, but I think you did a goob job. You included the necessary information without dragging into details about the situation because that is not the point you were trying to express. I also like how your first paragraph includes what is being done to fix the problem and then you go into the details about it.
I think that it is entirely fine to state what specifically happend to create the problem. I don't think you need to remove that. One thing that I would do, however, is make the Federal Regulations the forefront of that section. These problems were through no fault of your own, but becasue of accordance with law. "Federal Regulations prohibit..." is a stronger sentence then "...limited under Federal Regulations."