Jet Blue Press Release
Mon, 07/02/2007 - 21:14 — nlievens
Here is my press release, any comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Nick
Here is my press release, any comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Nick
Comments
Press Release Comment
Your press release was the best one I have read yet. It was imformative,newsworthy, focused on the facts, flowed smoothly, and was very professionally written. I was very impressed with the style of writing. You did an excellent job of summarizing the situation and bring it back to make a point. I really liked how you were descriptive in why the problem occured and specifically what the company is doing to correct this problem. It was brief, concise, and direct but I think passengers/customers will relate to it because it will answer majority of their questions. Again, very well written. I think you could do this for a living.
RE: Jet Blue Press Release
I think your release is really good. It starts off listing the facts and causes of the incident and moves into a very newsworthy paragraph. The only thing I noticed though, in your second paragraph, which is very news sounding, you use "they" to refer to JetBlue but in the third paragraph you use "We" which I believe changes the author part of the way through the document. I think these should be consistent, but you might want to check with someone else before you change anything because I'm certainly not an expert in writing. One other small thing, in your third paragraph, last line, fourth word in from the left, "our" should be "are". Just simple fix. Other than that you're letter looks really good to me.