I think this a well written press release. It is easy to follow and provides enough information in context. I feel that you can do a better job in transition if you move the last paragraph above the details of customer bill of rights. Also, a little more emphasis can be given to the public apology as this situation really calls for deliberate measure to maintain customers. I like the point you raise about bringing humanity back to the skies and I feel that’s a very effective statement in context. I think you should also built up JetBlue’s credibility by referring to their past performance with respect to customer satisfaction. Overall, I feel that this is a well written press release.
I like the way your press release began, but I have to agree with Muhammad and say that I think your last paragraph would be better if you moved it below your opening one and before your explanation of the bill of rights. I would also add a few more details about the incident and it's cause, and make it clear that JetBlue knows it was a problem caused directly by its poor actions. This really helps regain the public faith if they see the company admitting it's faults and taking action to correct them. I think you have all the right parts, and if you emphasized them all just a little more your release would be even better. Also, before I finish, several people noted to me that it may be a good idea to add the contact information again at the bottom of my document. This seems like a good suggestion so I thought I'd pass the tip along.
Very short, while not a bad thing in itself, you just have to make sure you communicate all the relevant information. The best way to think about writing a press release is that you are a representative of jetblue writing TO a newspaper to try and get your side of the story out.
all of your information is good, and I especially like the part with the bullet points highlighting exactly WHAT the bill or rights means to customers. It makes the release easily scannable and communicates what a journalist (or consumer) is looking for quickly
Comments
Peer Feedback
I think this a well written press release. It is easy to follow and provides enough information in context. I feel that you can do a better job in transition if you move the last paragraph above the details of customer bill of rights. Also, a little more emphasis can be given to the public apology as this situation really calls for deliberate measure to maintain customers. I like the point you raise about bringing humanity back to the skies and I feel that’s a very effective statement in context. I think you should also built up JetBlue’s credibility by referring to their past performance with respect to customer satisfaction. Overall, I feel that this is a well written press release.
Peer feedback
I like the way your press release began, but I have to agree with Muhammad and say that I think your last paragraph would be better if you moved it below your opening one and before your explanation of the bill of rights. I would also add a few more details about the incident and it's cause, and make it clear that JetBlue knows it was a problem caused directly by its poor actions. This really helps regain the public faith if they see the company admitting it's faults and taking action to correct them. I think you have all the right parts, and if you emphasized them all just a little more your release would be even better. Also, before I finish, several people noted to me that it may be a good idea to add the contact information again at the bottom of my document. This seems like a good suggestion so I thought I'd pass the tip along.
press release
Very short, while not a bad thing in itself, you just have to make sure you communicate all the relevant information. The best way to think about writing a press release is that you are a representative of jetblue writing TO a newspaper to try and get your side of the story out.
all of your information is good, and I especially like the part with the bullet points highlighting exactly WHAT the bill or rights means to customers. It makes the release easily scannable and communicates what a journalist (or consumer) is looking for quickly