I thought your press release was very informative and did a good job discussing the values of JetBlue. There were some minor typographical errors that I saw as I read through and corrected. I attached a file with the changes I made in red. I thought it would be easier to do it this way than to try and quote little changes here and there throughout your document. It wasn't anything huge, just small things that help improve your document. The only other things I noticed, your first paragraph was slightly choppy compared to the rest of your document. It was composed of many short sentences (possibly fragments?), the other paragraphs seemed fine though. Lastly, the first sentence in your fourth paragraph, "We would take this as a learning experience as this was the first for us." I think you should explain "first" what? I know you've spent the other paragraphs summarizing the events, but I think you should say "first major dilemma" or something of that nature rather than just "first". I think it looks good and you included everything you needed to. Nice job.
Your press release is an excellent example of addressing the requirements of the assignment. Each paragraph was brief and comprehensible for an audience to understand and relate to. This piece flowed in an interesting manner by addressing in the first paragraph a brief overview of the incident, in the second paragraph an apology was made by the CEO, third paragraph the CEO states why the apology was made, and methods of implementations that will be used. This is a good model for other students to use as a future reference. Your piece is very interesting and the further I read, it made me want to research the incident and new implementations further. Great Job!!
With extended research on press releases, it was very common that the contact information was listed on the top of the page. I could be wrong, but this is what I noticed.
I thought your article was good. You started with the how the flights were delayed due to federal safety regulations, frozen equipment, employee shortages and overages of pilot hours. I thought your article was complete. You ended with Jetblue having a benchmark for excellence in customer service and satifaction. Hopefully an article like this would keep customers.
Comments
RE: Jet Blue Press Release
I thought your press release was very informative and did a good job discussing the values of JetBlue. There were some minor typographical errors that I saw as I read through and corrected. I attached a file with the changes I made in red. I thought it would be easier to do it this way than to try and quote little changes here and there throughout your document. It wasn't anything huge, just small things that help improve your document. The only other things I noticed, your first paragraph was slightly choppy compared to the rest of your document. It was composed of many short sentences (possibly fragments?), the other paragraphs seemed fine though. Lastly, the first sentence in your fourth paragraph, "We would take this as a learning experience as this was the first for us." I think you should explain "first" what? I know you've spent the other paragraphs summarizing the events, but I think you should say "first major dilemma" or something of that nature rather than just "first". I think it looks good and you included everything you needed to. Nice job.
Your press release is an
Your press release is an excellent example of addressing the requirements of the assignment. Each paragraph was brief and comprehensible for an audience to understand and relate to. This piece flowed in an interesting manner by addressing in the first paragraph a brief overview of the incident, in the second paragraph an apology was made by the CEO, third paragraph the CEO states why the apology was made, and methods of implementations that will be used. This is a good model for other students to use as a future reference. Your piece is very interesting and the further I read, it made me want to research the incident and new implementations further. Great Job!!
With extended research on press releases, it was very common that the contact information was listed on the top of the page. I could be wrong, but this is what I noticed.
reply to Jetblue
I thought your article was good. You started with the how the flights were delayed due to federal safety regulations, frozen equipment, employee shortages and overages of pilot hours. I thought your article was complete. You ended with Jetblue having a benchmark for excellence in customer service and satifaction. Hopefully an article like this would keep customers.