Your letter has all the right points in it and in the right order. Your letter for some reason though does not seem very personal. I would break up the body into maybe 2 paragraphs. Also when you talked about earning the round trip flight I would make it a little more personal by maybe apologizing in that sentence one more time. I liked that you put the website in your closing statement and you mentioned that would be the best way to contact the airline.
I think you have all the right ingredients in you letter. I think with a little reorganizing it will be really good!
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Comments
peer edit
Your letter has all the right points in it and in the right order. Your letter for some reason though does not seem very personal. I would break up the body into maybe 2 paragraphs. Also when you talked about earning the round trip flight I would make it a little more personal by maybe apologizing in that sentence one more time. I liked that you put the website in your closing statement and you mentioned that would be the best way to contact the airline.
I think you have all the right ingredients in you letter. I think with a little reorganizing it will be really good!
.