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Jet Blue Business Letter

Fri, 07/06/2007 - 10:12 — rkottke

Here is my business letter draft. Please give me some feedback!

Thanks,
Rachel

Comments

Fri, 07/06/2007 - 14:29 — lalewand
lalewand's picture

Comments on Letter

I think you did an excellent job with the formatting. It immediately caught my eye and had a professional look about it. Secondly, you did well with the tone. In this letter, you sound genuinely sorry that this happened. I do want to point out one typo you made. When you use the word "endear," I am pretty sure you meant to use the word "endure." Another pointer I have is that in one of your paragraphs you might point out a specific example of how hard a JetBlue employee worked to help someone out. I believe it makes it much more personal when citing the actions of a certain individual. Other than that, your content sounds professional and hearfelt. Great job!

Fri, 07/06/2007 - 21:54 — Soo

Comments

I think you created a well organized business letter having all the information that a reader might want to hear about. I liked how you started your first paragraph by sincerely apologizing and then explaining that JetBlue is a company devoted to customer satisfaction. The way you described about company’s feeling against this event gave me an impression that you truly care about what happened and feel sorry for the customers. My little suggestion is that of you have included that date of when this event happened, it could have sounded more realistic and accurate. Although the reader might know when it happened, I think it is better to remind the customer as well yourself the company to be sure of when this happened. It will bring more credibility and will sound more like you are not forgetting but remembering the event.