This letter was very well written with good use of rhetoric and context. I like how you made the letter more personal to the person you are sending it to. As a reader, you may feel that the company really does care when they see they took the time to personally offer you reimbursement for the voucher, and how they would really enjoy your business in the future. I liked the apologetic approach you took in this letter as well. I think the most important thing Neeleman could have done was to just admit his mistake and take full responsibility, but from the sources that I found this is not what he did. This is why JetBlue took so much criticism. You did a good job talking about the Bill of Rights. You provided adequate information without overdoing in the letter, this is ideal.
Overall, I just feel the apologetic feel of this letter enhanced its credibility. A reader would recognize the embarrassment the C.E.O felt after this event happened and sympathize with him. After reading this, I would feel that JetBlue knows they made a mistake, but I know they are committed to have it never happen again. This was a very good letter, the only suggestion I have is to perfect the structure and make sure everything you wanted to say was said. Nice job.
I thought your letter was very well organized. I liked your choice of wording here: "Although the weather is not under our control, we realize that we could have been more proactive in order to prevent a situation of this degree". When I was writing my letter, I had a hard time putting that thought into words where it didn't sound like I was blaming the situation on the weather. I thought you did a really good job at achieving what you wanted. I also really liked how you went into detail about the Customer Bill of Rights and how you mentioned other changes that Jet Blue is doing. As a reader I think that will help persuade people to build back their trust in Jet Blue Airways. This sentence "Once again I apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced." reads funny to me. It gives me a feeling of not being sencere or believable. Its might be too emotionless. Just a thought! Lastly, here " Please contact me" you switch subjects. Who is the letter from, jetBlue as a company or the CEO personally, or CEO representing the company. It just seemed out of place.
I think you did a great emphasizing how sorry you were for everything that happened. Mabye watch the language of you letter and make it a little more simple. I really liked the look of you letter, it looked very professional. You also imcorporated the reading into your letter by really making the letter feel like it was for the person. Other then the wording used, it was a very good letter!
I think you did a great emphasizing how sorry you were for everything that happened. Mabye watch the language of you letter and make it a little more simple. I really liked the look of you letter, it looked very professional. You also imcorporated the reading into your letter by really making the letter feel like it was for the person. Other then the wording used, it was a very good letter!
Comments
Peer Editing Business Letter
This letter was very well written with good use of rhetoric and context. I like how you made the letter more personal to the person you are sending it to. As a reader, you may feel that the company really does care when they see they took the time to personally offer you reimbursement for the voucher, and how they would really enjoy your business in the future. I liked the apologetic approach you took in this letter as well. I think the most important thing Neeleman could have done was to just admit his mistake and take full responsibility, but from the sources that I found this is not what he did. This is why JetBlue took so much criticism. You did a good job talking about the Bill of Rights. You provided adequate information without overdoing in the letter, this is ideal.
Overall, I just feel the apologetic feel of this letter enhanced its credibility. A reader would recognize the embarrassment the C.E.O felt after this event happened and sympathize with him. After reading this, I would feel that JetBlue knows they made a mistake, but I know they are committed to have it never happen again. This was a very good letter, the only suggestion I have is to perfect the structure and make sure everything you wanted to say was said. Nice job.
Peer Edit Business Letter
I thought your letter was very well organized. I liked your choice of wording here: "Although the weather is not under our control, we realize that we could have been more proactive in order to prevent a situation of this degree". When I was writing my letter, I had a hard time putting that thought into words where it didn't sound like I was blaming the situation on the weather. I thought you did a really good job at achieving what you wanted. I also really liked how you went into detail about the Customer Bill of Rights and how you mentioned other changes that Jet Blue is doing. As a reader I think that will help persuade people to build back their trust in Jet Blue Airways. This sentence "Once again I apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced." reads funny to me. It gives me a feeling of not being sencere or believable. Its might be too emotionless. Just a thought! Lastly, here " Please contact me" you switch subjects. Who is the letter from, jetBlue as a company or the CEO personally, or CEO representing the company. It just seemed out of place.
Letter Response
I think you did a great emphasizing how sorry you were for everything that happened. Mabye watch the language of you letter and make it a little more simple. I really liked the look of you letter, it looked very professional. You also imcorporated the reading into your letter by really making the letter feel like it was for the person. Other then the wording used, it was a very good letter!
Letter Response
I think you did a great emphasizing how sorry you were for everything that happened. Mabye watch the language of you letter and make it a little more simple. I really liked the look of you letter, it looked very professional. You also imcorporated the reading into your letter by really making the letter feel like it was for the person. Other then the wording used, it was a very good letter!