I really like the content of your letter. You make strong points and take a strong stance interms of responsibility for the events that occured. The tone is very apologetic. There are just a few grammar/typo errors that I saw. This sentence: Ten of them were significantly delayed with passengers ON BOARD PERIOD Due to the traffic congestion at the gate and FREEZING temperatureADD COMMA CAUSING MORE delays, which MADE IT DIFFICULT TO GET OUR SYSTEMS BACK TO NORMAL. Just an idea for rewording/structuring. Also, I don't understand this: "your precious business" what do you mean there?
I really like your ending.You end strong and leave me feeling like there is something being done to correct the problem. It was an interesting choice putting the changes at the end, but I think it works best! Great job!
Comments
Business LEtter Peer Edit
I really like the content of your letter. You make strong points and take a strong stance interms of responsibility for the events that occured. The tone is very apologetic. There are just a few grammar/typo errors that I saw. This sentence: Ten of them were significantly delayed with passengers ON BOARD PERIOD Due to the traffic congestion at the gate and FREEZING temperatureADD COMMA CAUSING MORE delays, which MADE IT DIFFICULT TO GET OUR SYSTEMS BACK TO NORMAL. Just an idea for rewording/structuring. Also, I don't understand this: "your precious business" what do you mean there?
I really like your ending.You end strong and leave me feeling like there is something being done to correct the problem. It was an interesting choice putting the changes at the end, but I think it works best! Great job!
Thanks for the comment.
I will revise those grammatical errors.