Reading Response 6
First, because I know all my group members will be reading this post, I would like to thank Pat for working hard and getting this first draft up. I think it is a really good first draft. I think there is a lot of areas in which we can improve, but I think this is a great starting point.
The book talks about the importance of sentence and structural variety. I think we did a nice job of bringing all the sections together. Each is well written and interesting to read. I also think they are the appropriate legnth. Some editing will help to make it even better, but in general these are good. The book talks about ways to emphasize certain ideas, like putting the important words at the begining of the sentence. I think each section could do a better job of this. Want to do this makes us ask the question, "What is the most important item in each sentence?" I think we need to define our audience better then we have already. Are we writting this brochure to attract people to attend the event, or are we writting it to ask for people to help volunteer? I really don't know. If we are hoping people will attend the even we should focus of the people who we want to come, the community. If we want people to help out at the event, we should focus on the real need we have for assisatance and how their help will make a difference in these people's lives.
I think what could use the most work is the layout and design. Although it is a very good start, I think we could improve a couple things. The first is the color. The book talks about analogous colors and complementary colors. I think in this brochure we should use complimentary colors, that is, colors that lie on opposite side of the color wheel. Like red and green. I think pretty much everything should be tied into red and green. That doesn't mean everything needs to be the same shades. I also think we need some background colors. I think a few boxes that are off center and have text in them could really make the brochure stand out.
Another Idea is to make one big panel in the inside. When the brochure is all the way open, there isn't a need for 3 panels. I think it would look good if we didn't follow the lines here. We could have a big picture in the background or something to tie it all together.
I think, with a little work, this brochure will be great!
Comments
I have not seen your
I have not seen your brochure, but from reading your responce I think you are analyzing the reading in the Thomson Handbook in the correct way, and it will improve your brochure a lot.
Comment Group 1
First off, thanks for the shout out, our group is doing great and I can see this project only getting better. Anyways, I think this is a great blog entry and I hope you bring these ideas to our project reviews. The parts where you talk about the design are great. I think making the inside one single panel is an awesome idea and we should experiment with it. I think this would be a great way to make our brochure look creative and inviting inside. I also think you made a great note about who exactly our audience is. Are we asking people to participate or volunteer? Is this up to us or is there an audience our client needs to get through to? That was a great point and we need to bring that up as soon as possible.
Comment
I agree that our draft is a great starting point. I definitely think we are on the right track. And you brought up a good point about the audience. I guess I hadn't really thought about whether we were trying to get our readers to attend the event or help out with it. That is definitely something we should discuss and decide on! Also, I agree that we should work with the colors in the design. I think complementary colors would work well with this particular project. I do, however, think our writing portions need a little work. I think with a little work, we could make the sentences a little more interesting and easier to read. I think we all have some good ideas that we could definitely make use of!
comment
I agree that we can improve our first draft with a little more work and this is a good starting point. I also agree that we have to focus on design and layout. As Rachel said, I think complementary colors will work well on our brochure, especially green and red. I think we can use those complementary colors on the front page to draw the readers’ eyes quickly. I think we can also make the text more interesting and easy to read with sentence and structural variety. Lastly, I agree that we have to define the audience clearly and focus on them. I think the brochure should be aimed to ask for people to help volunteer. As you said, with a little work, our brochure will look great!