Reading Response - Week 6
The draft we presented is on its way to become a much better brochure. We put a few visuals as well as detailed text that describe the event as well as the volunteer opportunities the resource center is offering. I think that we can improve on the visuals of the brochure, since we only offer images in the cover page and the last page. This could definitely add color and attractiveness to the brochure. I believe that the cover page is very well done since it is what the reader first lays his/her eyes on since we have an “attention getting” image. We can also add a background to create contrast with the text as well as with the whole brochure.
I think we did a good job on sentence variety since: 1) most sentences do not have the same length; 2) the text is easy to follow and understandable; 3) all the words connect directly to the “theme” of the brochure. About conciseness, since we are considering on adding more images to the brochure, we could revise some of the sentences to provide shorter and more direct points. I think we should apply this in the part where we are explaining the events the resource center is offering. This will give us more space to add images which, as the saying goes, are worth a thousand words. Regarding the audience we did a good job on the wording since it goes along with the message we are trying to transmit. We just need to make the brochure a little more attractive by adding color as well as images so the reader does not get bored with too much text. The overall design of the brochure is really good; I look forward to the future and final drafts of the brochure since we have noticed a few things we have to improve on.
Comments
Graphically, the brochure
Graphically, the brochure draws attention immediately to the topic and does an awesome of highlighting the main event. I concur that we have done a good job on sentence variety, but a certain section needs to be revised. We took into account not only the subject, but also the interest of the audience. I also feel that with a little more color, the brochure will become more engaging and interesting. One thing we definitely need to implement with the second draft is making sentences more concise. We need to incorporate powerful words that will entice the reader to donate or volunteer and construct sentences that are short and direct.
Agree
I agree with both of you, I believe our cover is a keeper. As I stated in my post as well, I think we should implement a background color to contrast the graphics and the Christmas colors. I think the sentence structure of our paragraphs is pretty strong as well, but I definitely agree with Melissa---we could use some more powerful verbs to call the audience to action and really draw them into our cause. I think we are off to a very strong start, and believe that once we get feedback on our first draft, we will take our second draft to the next level. I look forward to working more with the both of you; so far we make a great team!
sentence variety and visual aids
I really like your explanation on sentence variety. I totally agree that all the words should connect directly to the theme of the brochure. No extra information should be present there. Also, you are right when you say that the text needs to be easy to understand. We don’t want the brochure to seem as a difficult test of English, the easier it is to comprehend, the greater impact it will make. I also like your views on visual aid. I believe that a perfect color combination will enhance the look of the brochure. Cover page is something that the reader looks on to first, and first impression is the last impression. Hence it is a good idea to put an attention getting image.