English 420Y - Business Writing Online

The two brochures you have provided do a good job or describing potential hazards for pets, how they are to be treated, and good persuasion techniques to let a person know that the humane society could really use their help. The brochure flows together very well. For example, in the pet care brochure, you introduce the topics that you will be discussing on the front half of the brochure, and actually describe them in detail on the back page. After reading through everything, it is evident your group did plenty of research on the topic, but I feel the brochure would be stronger if you condense the text down a little bit. A person reading through this may find it overwhelming. As a reader, I would have enjoyed seeing more pictures, especially on the back side of the first brochure. We know from the readings in this class that the pictures are supposed to correlate with the text, so try to find images to suit the points. You can probably find pictures for housebreaking and vaccinating your pet. You may even find one for spay and neuter although you may want to try to avoid that picture for obvious reasons.

For other aspects of the display, you might want to reconsider a different color scheme. The white background seems a little boring, and the colors don’t clash together too well with the lime green, navy blue, and orange. However, this brochure seems to be a little more formal, almost like something you would see at a veterinarian’s office, so you don’t want to make it too flashy either. Also, you put the contact information of the first brochure twice. I think having it one time will suffice.

Again, your structure of the brochure is very good. Certain parts preface other parts and it is easy to read and follow along. I just suggest you chop up the text up a little bit and make it an even easier read. This was a very good draft, and your revisions to transition this to the final product can be very minimal and you will still have a solid document.

After reviewing both of the group’s brochures, I think that the group has worked how to use the concepts provided in the text to make a brochure that stands out to the readers. The first thing in the brochures that caught my attention was the use of bold text boxes that provided direction in the brochure. Each section of the brochure is clearly titled. The information provided on the front of the brochure is great because it gives plenty of information, yet is not loaded with wording. This is not the case on the back of brochure where there is a lot of text which can distract the reader. Instead, try limiting the amount of text and add more pictures and illustrations like the front of the brochure includes. One suggestion to add more to the brochure would to add more color. The white background gives the brochure a clean, organized look, but adding a soft color in the background may be more appealing. Another suggestion I have is to make the first page of the brochure stand out more by adding more color and bolder text. This is the page is will attract the readers attention, so try make it stand out more than the other pages of the brochure. Your group utilized key concepts in brochures such as proximity in relation to the pictures and text. Also the group used alignment of the text boxes and text to establish a relationship between all of information provided in each column.

Both of these brochures are very easy to read. The pictures chosen are of different dogs and are very cute and eye catching too. The information is very good especially for someone who doesn’t know a lot about caring for dogs. I liked that you explained the types of vaccinations and which dogs would be more susceptible to those diseases. I also liked that you bolded certain parts of the text that were really important.

For the brochure on “How to take care of your New Dog” I would suggest adding more color on the second page of the brochure. The first seems to have more text boxes with different colors that stand out but the second page is mostly text that is all the same color besides the headlines. For more color, I would try adding a background color. It is easy to read on white but a light color could add some contrast for the reader. I also think the second page needs more pictures especially a picture to fill the white space under “Housetraining”. I think a picture of a crate with or without the dog would be a good picture to add there. Under the Spay/Neuter section, the second sentence says “we are doing are best” should be “we are doing our best.”

The general information brochure seems to be somewhat overwhelming with all the text. The information is very good and important but I would try to split the text up with a picture. I think it would be easier to read if there was a picture to break up all the text. “Checks can sent to” should be changed to “Checks can be sent to” or “Send checks to.” Under the Pure-breds sections, I would take out the word “or”. I would just start with “Contact”. Other than those changes, I think the brochures are great and have great information! Although I can’t get a pet now, I definitely will get one from the humane society instead of a pet store when I do! Good job!