English 420Y - Business Writing Online

5:00 Appeal to Emotions: The brochure on the humane society has a very calming design which I think leads to the idea that if you go there the process of adoption will go smoothly. The pet care brochure has a fun design which gets you excited about talking about bringing the new dog home. I think that some more pictures could be added but otherwise it looks good. I give both of them a “+”

4:00 Be Professional: II think that the humane society brochure looks very professional and would get a “+” but the pet care one need some work on making sure that the company information is easy to read and that things are all aligned the dame.

3:40 Be Personal: I think both brochures get a “+” in this category because they both are personal in regards to the readers. The humane society one is got a more professional way of addressing the reader while the pet care one is geared towards getting the new owner excited about their new pet.

3:00 Achieve Readability: Readability is okay on both of them. The humane society one has more wording when needed and fewer words where the words can be summed up in a picture. The pet care brochure is a bit too wordy but I found it very difficult to cut words out and still get my point across. Pet care would be a “-“

2:30 Speak the Language: Humane society brochure gets a “+” as well as the pet care one. I think the pet care could try to use fewer words but overall relates to the audience.

2:00 Lead with Benefits: The pet care does a good job at beginning with a happy puppy on the front cover and using words to get the owner excited about this new pet/family member. I also think that the humane society does a good job pointing out the pro’s of the shelter and gets the contact information in a very readable and catchy spot.

1:20 Have a Single Message: Both get a “+” on this one for they both get across the point of the brochures

0:50 Focus on a Product or Service: The humane society “+” because it focuses solely on the humane society. The pet care was difficult to focus on one exact things but I think gets a “+” because it did a good job sticking to the topic of pet care

0:20 Make an Action Call: I think that the humane society one would pass the action call but I think the layout and use of words needs to be revamped in order for it too to pass the action call test.

0:00 Add Your Score: It looks like the humane society brochure is in better shape then the pet care brochure but both can be perfected with some minor revisions. Score ended up Humane society= all “+” where the pet care had 2 “-“.