You letter contains plenty of useful information, and I like how you took the approach of having the letter being written by a JetBlue employee. Every other letter I read from classmates seemed to be in the perspective of the C.E.O. so it was a totally different idea. The C.E.O would have to put more of the blame to himself. With the approach you took, you were able to just tell the customer what the C.E.O said. When it comes to context, I would suggest that you preface the Bill of Rights so the reader will know what they are all about, but other than that, context was pretty good.
Other suggestions I would make would be rhetorical ideas. For examples, the last two sentence in the second paragraph could be combined because the whole point of the Bill of Rights is for customer satisfaction. The link to the televised interview you mentioned is not there either, I'm not sure if this is just on my computer, but if you are distributing this letter electronically you are going to want to make sure you include it. With that, another thought I had is maybe to leave out the link, and just provide a couple points from the interview instead. All my suggestions are completely subjective, however. You have wrote a very good letter, but you just may need some minor tweaks to perfect it.
Comments
Peer Editing Business Letter
You letter contains plenty of useful information, and I like how you took the approach of having the letter being written by a JetBlue employee. Every other letter I read from classmates seemed to be in the perspective of the C.E.O. so it was a totally different idea. The C.E.O would have to put more of the blame to himself. With the approach you took, you were able to just tell the customer what the C.E.O said. When it comes to context, I would suggest that you preface the Bill of Rights so the reader will know what they are all about, but other than that, context was pretty good.
Other suggestions I would make would be rhetorical ideas. For examples, the last two sentence in the second paragraph could be combined because the whole point of the Bill of Rights is for customer satisfaction. The link to the televised interview you mentioned is not there either, I'm not sure if this is just on my computer, but if you are distributing this letter electronically you are going to want to make sure you include it. With that, another thought I had is maybe to leave out the link, and just provide a couple points from the interview instead. All my suggestions are completely subjective, however. You have wrote a very good letter, but you just may need some minor tweaks to perfect it.