English 421Y: Technical Writing Online

Adam, upon first glance your resume is easily read over and appears to be formatted correctly. I like the way your name is big and in bold in the center. One improvement to your personal information would be to put your addresses below and to the left and ride side of your name to make it more easily read. Your section headings do a good job of separation and all of your information is aligned correctly.

Your objective statement tells exactly what you are looking for in a job and I am assuming that you worded it the way you did because you found those job skills from the job description itself. You do a good job of showing your education and some of the classes that show you have experience in the HVAC and industrial fields. Personally, I think that showing that many classes just puts a big blob on a page that a HR rep will never read, but that is my opinion. The best part about your work experience section is that you actually have two summers work dealing with HVAC systems, I would try to make that the strongest part of my resume. Your format is good and your descriptions make you sound professional. You pretty much used parallel verbs, like stated in the instructor blog 2, but there were a few that were not and you might want to look into that. I like that you were able to list some skills and activities, but if you could you might want to try and show a few more extracurricular activities that you have participated in. I did not find any spelling or grammar errors either.

Overall your resume is fairly good. You have done an excellent job showing your experiences and your education. Your format is put together very well and makes it easy to read. I hope that the few changes I mentioned above will help you to improvement your resume to the best it can be.

Adam, your resume looks great. You have a excellent start, it’s well organized, flows well, and the layout is nice. After analyzing further, I was really attracted to some of the information you have provided, and I have a few comments and suggestions that I think will help and improve your resume.

Starting with the good, the location of your name front and center looks really nice. Your objective is a descriptive and shows what you looking for. Under your education, your course work is really specified to the relevant course work that applies in a HVAC field. Experiences, having an experience from a HVAC field will be a good reference with applying your knowledge. Your other 2 experiences listed are nice showing that you have applied yourself to work. Skills/Actives are good for a company to see what kind of characteristics you have and will be used while working.

Some of the comments I have and would consider revising or changing, Looking at your addresses, the placement of your commas in both address need to be changed. The only comma should be between the city and state. Education, you may want to change the “Courses Taken Include:” to “Relevant Courses” using the change to sound like you didn’t limit yourself, but you chose to excel in this field. Also the graduation date should be adjusted to the right and aligned vertically with the rest of the dates, and remove “expected”. Experiences, (in order) you may want to try to find a more powerful word than “communicated”. Instead of “uncovered”, use “discovered” since you found them. For the last experience, add another bullet to make it symmetric with the rest of the experiences. Also with the symmetry, align the bullet points so the descriptions are in order from shortest to longest of vise versa. You can refer to my resume to see what I mean.
Overall, you have a great resume, I hope the suggestions I have given help you. Although it is my opinion, another reader may find everything the way it is better than what I have suggested. I hope it works well for you. Good luck!