English 421Y: Technical Writing Online

Form and Style
This cover letter does include all the necessary components mentioned in the readings. The author has used the correct block format. I think the style of the letter is very appropriate for the situation, although I think the font itself is a little informal. I would recommend the general Times font. The tone of the cover letter is appropriate as it is sort of a formal conversational tone. It is a good segway into your resume. You might consider taking out the first sentence of the last paragraph about “such great respect and appreciation...” as it might be considered gushing. I’m not positive, but I think you are missing a comma in the third paragraph after “others,”. Also, in the second to last sentence of the first paragraph, you used actually in the same sentence. You might try using a different word to describe the second part of your project. Other than those small, trivial aspects that I noticed, I think the cover letter is very good, in format, style, and especially informational content. I’m sure your experience and skills would be very impressive to an HR coordinator.
Content/Rhetorical Context
In terms of speaking directly to the job ad, this letter starts of with “I am writing to apply for the Project Engineer position listed on Careerbuilder.com”. That sentence is followed by the reason the author is applying for the job. In the body of the letter, specific reasons are presented such as previously working for a mechanical construction company and the project he completed at that job. The author sites his specific skills in the body of the letter with terminology such as gathering bid documents and estimating. These are terms experienced people would recognize. As was stated above, the introductory paragraph does identify the position the author is applying for, along with the source and his skills that make him qualified for the position. The conclusion of this letter has two parts; it first states again that he would look forward to a career in mechanical construction and how he can be contacted. For some reason, I’m not sure the author should keep the sentence in the second to last paragraph about respect and appreciation. It just strikes me as a little phony.

As far as the questions to be answered: 1. I think the information that you presented is definitely detailed enough to pique their interest in you as a candidate but also leaves some questions unanswered. The questions I am referring to would generally be asked in an interview situation. 2. The overall formatting is professional except for the font. You should probably change it to Time or something like that, unless I missed this recommendation somewhere in the readings.

All in all, I do think it is a solid cover letter and if I were you I wouldn’t hesitate to send it to a recruiter with your resume.

I'm going to number these because it helped when I read my evaluations.

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. This is where I think you can use some improvement. Although it is important to speak casually with the person you are writing to, many times you are too informal. Sentences like: "During my internship I didn’t just follow around one of the Project Managers, but actually got to work on my own project from gathering the bid documents to actually estimating all aspects of this particular job." Should be stronger. saying that you didn't just follow someone around wastes valuable space that you could use to discuss this project in more detail. They want to know what you did and what you learned from it. Be Specific!
4. You can also be much stronger on how you talk about yourself. Saying that your experience gives you SOME of the knowledge you will need for the job is less than luke warm. You shouldn't be applying for a job you aren't qualified for, so if you are, tell them you are. Then describe your experience in the body.
5. the only one I found is that you need to put a couple extra spaces between your closing salutation and your name where you would sign the letter.

1. You really need to make all your statements seem stronger. You only have one page to tell them why they should give you a job, that means you have to brag about yourself. Not in a gross way, but if you don't speak positively for yourself no one will.
2. No, I think you could add a sentence somewhere about how you are suited for this specific job.
3. In my opinion, not well enough. It sounds like you have a passion for this industry and you did a great internship, but you need to talk more specifically about the things you did and the things you know. If you want to talk about how well you work with others, give examples from school or your internship where you did that.
4. Yes, but make a stronger statement (see above)
5. Yes
6. I think the most important thing is that you have to be more comfortable making strong statements about yourself. Things like: I am ideal for this position because... and I can help you company grow because of my...

In regards to your specific questions, yes you do need to be more specific like I talked about above, but your format is just fine. And dito on the other evaluator, you need to use times new roman font!!

Let me know if you want me to look at it again after you have revised it once, I'd be happy to help.

~sherid42@msu.edu