Two things:
1) Does the letter seem too redundant?
2) Should I include the address at the top even though it is on my resume already?
Two things:
1) Does the letter seem too redundant?
2) Should I include the address at the top even though it is on my resume already?
Tell Them What You Can Do
I feel that this review will be most effective if each question is answered individually. My intent is to make it easier for you to follow when you go to correct it.
Form & Style
1. Everything seems to be included. I picked out your key terms as being "team" and "effective performance." Both appear in your introduction and conclusion.
2. Yes, block format is used. Everything is aligned with the left margin.
3. The style is good, and I wouldn't call it generic since you try to address the expectations of the job. It's also written in a manner that isn't overly formal or informal.
4. Your tone is good, but not great. Your enthusiasm is present in phrases like "I look forward to beginning employment...", and it's not overly done. You don't brag at all. It's actually almost like you need to do it a little bit. If you're proficient in AutoCAD, then maybe you could mention a project you worked on or something. Be proud of what you've accomplished, but keep it professional.
5. Your spelling and mechanics look good.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. I'm not sure that this cover letter addresses key terms from the job ad. Some of the main skills they're looking for are proficiency in AutoCAD, Allen Bradley programming, Visual Basic experience, etc. You mention your AutoCAD proficiency, but that's about it. Your introductory paragraph highlights your ability to work with a team and that your performance as an engineer is "effective." Although the ad mentions the need for similar skills, I don't think that these are your strongest assets. I think you should tell them that you're good with electronic interfaces and software, and maybe include 1 or 2 sentences about your communication/team skills.
2. Your specific reasons for applying to the job aren't clear. You claim to want to work with a team that will benefit from your contributions, but why do you care? It isn't very clear what your motivation is, which is surprising because your job ad analysis lists so many reasons why you're interested in this job.
3. I think that the terminology used in your letter would be understood by anybody. There isn’t much in the way of technical jargon. I’m not sure whether our instructors wrote this question because they want us to have this kind of terminology or not.
4. The introductory paragraph includes the title of the job, but not the source of the ad. As I’ve stated before, I don’t think that your desire to work with a team and perform are strong arguments for why you’re suited for the job.
5. The conclusion does not mention how you can be contacted, but your last sentence does end on a positive note. You say you look forward to being contacted, but you kind of just infer that they should use one of the contact methods listed above (i.e. home address, phone number, or email).
6. Most importantly, I think you should reconsider your key terms and give more concrete examples of your experience. There are so many other stronger points than “working as a team player” or “performing effectively,” unless you have some really good examples of how you did those things.
Personal
1. Is your cover letter redundant? Redundant with what? Your resume? Or just in general? Your resume doesn’t highlight your communication or team skills, so I’d say that your cover letter should note something about your personality. As for the technical content, your resume lists your coursework and AutoCAD experience. The cover letter doesn’t bring anything new to the table in those areas.
2. I think you should include your contact information on the cover letter and the resume. The instructor blog says that it makes your info consistent and easier to find.