Some questions for comments:
1.) Does my language balance concision and level of detail?
2.) Did I use enough information about the employing company to show my interest in them?
Some questions for comments:
1.) Does my language balance concision and level of detail?
2.) Did I use enough information about the employing company to show my interest in them?
Impressive Cover Letter
Jack,
I could summarize your cover letter in one word: flawless. I was thoroughly impressed at how well you tackled each of the grading criterion and with such a smooth, effective flow.
- Form and Style -
1. Your cover letter hit each area of a sound professional structure. For some reason the header style that you’ve applied seems a bit off in alignment, perhaps your name should be raised vertically while the horizontal alignment remains the same. Aside from this, everything was clear and well written. Your introduction works to catch the recruiter’s attention; the body paragraphs offer ample detail into your academic and professional careers thus far; and the reflection of your skills and interest wraps the letter up effectively.
2. You kept all text aligned with the left margin, as any cover letter should.
3. Although your cover letter was sufficiently formal, the style came off as a bit generic, but probably not so much that you should be concerned with it.
4. The tone of your cover letter was perfect. The manner in which you offer your background educational experience regarding a technology and then proceed to elaborate on how you applied it in a professional environment works great. For instance, consider the following statements from your document:
“At Purdue I learned to program in object oriented languages—C#.NET and Java. While there I led a team of three developers create a database-driven web presence (ASP.NET / Access) for the BioAPI Consortium which was later awarded the best site.”
I thought this tactic was perfect. You denote that you have a level of formal experience with the technology, then state how you applied what you’ve learned to a real-world project, and close with the award you received for a job well done.
5. The only error I came across was in the statement I just quoted you on: “While there I led a team of three developers create a database-driven web presence…” I think this might be more properly worded: “While there I led a team of three developers on a project to create a database-driven web presence…”
- Content/Rhetorical Context –
1. In regard to relating the cover letter to the job ad, I think you could have been a little more specific. Since you know what is expected of the position you desire, consider denoting how your knowledge and experience will prove beneficial to that job in particular.
2. You specifically cover why you wish to obtain the job, as you and the employer both “share a goal of developing creative, elegant, and effective solutions for business needs on the web.”
3. You include ample specific skills, experience, and knowledge using appropriate industry jargon.
4. You directly covered which position you are applying for, the source, and the major reasons why you are well suited for it.
5. You did well in tying the closing paragraph to your overall theme and included contact information for further interest. Furthermore, you denote your interest in meeting and pursuing this position which have an impact on how the recruiter reviews your application and for this reason, your cover letter ends on a high note.
6. I believe the single most important revision you could make would be, as mentioned earlier, to directly correlate your experience to what you know the job you’re applying for demands. This will inform the recruiter exactly how you will benefit the organization.
- Your Questions -
1. You use professional and clear wording and did well in balancing concision and level of detail.
2. I believe you could have used more company information, and in particular, more job-specific information.