Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
You need to include the addressee at the top, and probably a little more to your body paragraphs.
2. Does the author use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Basically, all but your header. I really don’t think this is an issue though.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal, formal, or generic? Explain.
The style is a little too generic. I think you could go into a lot more detail and cater this letter a little more to the position your applying for.
4. Does the author take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? Highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I think your tone is just about right. You state that you are qualified, but don’t drag it on for too long.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them.
Not that I noticed.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of the author's qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
You state how you are qualified and use some good words to state this; however, you need to show how you are qualified also. Simply stating this isn’t merely enough to have a person get an image of you in their head of you working for their company. Use specific examples of how you are qualified.
2. Does the author mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Not directly. The author states that they did research about the company, and concluded they would be qualified. I suppose this could be a reason for applying.
3. Does the author identify specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, the author does speak in laments terms when necessary and makes it easy for all of his audience to understand.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the author is well-suited to it?
All of these except the specific source.
5. Does the conclusion indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Not quite. The author definitely leaves on a good note, but doesn’t leave any contact information. Then again, this can be found at the top of the document.
6. What is the most important revision the author should make? Explain.
I think you could add a lot more content to your cover letter. It felt a little too generic and I didn’t really get a picture of you. This is your time to shine and show them how you would make a great pilot. Give them concrete examples of your past experiences and how these skill sets would transfer to your work at their company.
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
The address of your subject should be in the header.
2. Does the author use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
The header should be left-justified, it looks more professional that way.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal, formal, or generic? Explain.
The style is a bit overly-formal. I think taking a more conversational/informal tone would aid your cover letter.
4. Does the author take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? Highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
The letter definitely comes off as enthusiastic. It is clear that you're excited about this position.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them.
No spelling errors
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of the author's qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
There should be some specific examples of how/why you're qualified. Maybe try to link your coursework/experiences to exact keywords in the job posting would help.
2. Does the author mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
I didn't catch any. You come off as excited for applying, but it doesn't seem to convey any specific reason as to why you'd like to have this position.
3. Does the author identify specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
I didn't notice any industry-specific terminology. It probably wouldn't hurt to integrate some of that when describing your experiences.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the author is well-suited to it?
No source of position.
5. Does the conclusion indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
No, you should go back and restate your phone number and email in the end.
6. What is the most important revision the author should make? Explain.
It seems to me that there should be some description of your education and background as it suits the job. I'm not familiar with the aviation program, but what is it about your education at Purdue that sets you apart from the rest? You mention professional aviation experience but do not elaborate. I'd go back and put some of these things in to show them how and why your background best suits you for this position.
c
Feedback
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
You need to include the addressee at the top, and probably a little more to your body paragraphs.
2. Does the author use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Basically, all but your header. I really don’t think this is an issue though.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal, formal, or generic? Explain.
The style is a little too generic. I think you could go into a lot more detail and cater this letter a little more to the position your applying for.
4. Does the author take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? Highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
I think your tone is just about right. You state that you are qualified, but don’t drag it on for too long.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them.
Not that I noticed.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of the author's qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
You state how you are qualified and use some good words to state this; however, you need to show how you are qualified also. Simply stating this isn’t merely enough to have a person get an image of you in their head of you working for their company. Use specific examples of how you are qualified.
2. Does the author mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Not directly. The author states that they did research about the company, and concluded they would be qualified. I suppose this could be a reason for applying.
3. Does the author identify specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, the author does speak in laments terms when necessary and makes it easy for all of his audience to understand.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the author is well-suited to it?
All of these except the specific source.
5. Does the conclusion indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Not quite. The author definitely leaves on a good note, but doesn’t leave any contact information. Then again, this can be found at the top of the document.
6. What is the most important revision the author should make? Explain.
I think you could add a lot more content to your cover letter. It felt a little too generic and I didn’t really get a picture of you. This is your time to shine and show them how you would make a great pilot. Give them concrete examples of your past experiences and how these skill sets would transfer to your work at their company.
Cover letter critique
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
The address of your subject should be in the header.
2. Does the author use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
The header should be left-justified, it looks more professional that way.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal, formal, or generic? Explain.
The style is a bit overly-formal. I think taking a more conversational/informal tone would aid your cover letter.
4. Does the author take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? Highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
The letter definitely comes off as enthusiastic. It is clear that you're excited about this position.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them.
No spelling errors
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of the author's qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
There should be some specific examples of how/why you're qualified. Maybe try to link your coursework/experiences to exact keywords in the job posting would help.
2. Does the author mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
I didn't catch any. You come off as excited for applying, but it doesn't seem to convey any specific reason as to why you'd like to have this position.
3. Does the author identify specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
I didn't notice any industry-specific terminology. It probably wouldn't hurt to integrate some of that when describing your experiences.
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the author is well-suited to it?
No source of position.
5. Does the conclusion indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
No, you should go back and restate your phone number and email in the end.
6. What is the most important revision the author should make? Explain.
It seems to me that there should be some description of your education and background as it suits the job. I'm not familiar with the aviation program, but what is it about your education at Purdue that sets you apart from the rest? You mention professional aviation experience but do not elaborate. I'd go back and put some of these things in to show them how and why your background best suits you for this position.
c