I was wondering if I did too much explaining my job experience and not enough trying to sell myself. Any help would be appreciated.
I was wondering if I did too much explaining my job experience and not enough trying to sell myself. Any help would be appreciated.
Cover Letter Critique
Form and Style
1. This letter contains all of the necessary Components.
2. This letter has been written in block format.
3. The style that is used in this letter is very descriptive and can use more assertive statements.
4. The tone used in this letter could be a little bit more assertive. Its a slightly boring with all the descriptions taking place.
5. I do not notice any spelling or mechanical errors.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. The introduction does deal directly with the job ad. There could be a little more detail addressed to the company and job add.
2. Reasons for applying for this job has been stated, but aren't very specific.
3. The vocab used is in a style that is conducive to what the reader would want to read.
4. The specific job being applied for is not clearly stated nor specific. Reasons for being qualified for the job is also stated in the intro.
5. Ways of being contacted in the future is not stated in the conclusion but is stated in the header.
6. The most important revision that needs to be made is that there needs to be less descriptions about past work and more about who the writer is and what they have to offer.
Writers Questions
I do believe that you did do too much explaining and not enough selling of yourself. I think that you should include a little more descriptions about who you are as a person and what you can bring to the company. Besides that I believe this is a good cover letter.
Cover Letter Critique
Form and Style
1) Contains everything
2)Format is correct
3)Not overly formal or informal. The letter has a good conversational tone when detailing your experiences.
4)The tone could be a bit more assertive, I think you could try to "glorify" your internship experience a little better.
5)No spelling errors
Content/Rhetorical Context
I think the letter could do a better job of linking your experiences and education to exactly what the job ad is calling for. Maybe go back to the posting and tell them how your skills best fit what it is they are looking for specifically. You have a lot of experience and it seems like you definitely fit the bill. The content thats required is all there.
To address your question, I think you've done a good job selling yourself. It is apparent that you have the experience and background to successfully fill this position. My only suggestion would be to try to link yourself directly to the job posting. Overall good cover letter.