English 421Y: Technical Writing Online

Doddy, I am going to use a numerical format in my response to make it easier for you to follow.

Form and Style

1. You have all of the necessary body components in your cover letter. One thing you might want to think about doing is splitting up your body paragraph into two smaller ones and have the first one talk about how you work at a private course and the second one about interacting with the members.
2. You do a good job of using a block format and of having everything left aligned.
3. I think the style of your cover letter is perfect. The style you used is really the only style possible for a good cover letter, and it is the same style that I used.
4. I think in your cover letter you do a good job of using the right tone. You do not sound like you are bragging about all your experience as an assistant golf professional, you are just stating your experiences.
5. I did not find any spelling or grammar errors in your letter.

Content/Rhetorical Context

1. I think your letter does a good job of talking to the specific ad you are applying for. You do a good job of using keywords in your intro and body paragraphs. One thing you could do better would be to add one more qualification they are looking for in your intro.
2. You do a good job of mentioning why you are applying for this job. You show your interest in this job by stating how it “caught my attention because of the prestige and facilities that you have at Countryside Country Club.”
3. You do use a lot of terminology that an expert would know. You use terms such as POS and Smyth Systems, which I have never heard of but I am sure a golf pro expert would know.
4. Your intro paragraph has all of the components in it including the job itself, its source, and the reasons why you are well suited to it.
5. In your conclusion you need to restate how the reader can get a hold of you by leaving your number and/or an email address.
6. The most important thing I would do would be to split your body paragraph into two separate paragraphs. I would do this so that it makes your letter easier to follow and read.

Your Questions

1. Well I would answer them but you did not put any.
2. Overall it is a good cover letter.

After reviewing your letter I think that it includes all the necessary components and transitions very well. It is separated well and it is easy to read. I think that you bring a formal style and a professional tone throughout the entire letter. The formal style and explanation of your past skills seems like it would pertain to the job. I think that the tone of your letter is the right tone. It shows that you are highly qualified for the position. There is no major spelling or mechanical errors.

I think that your content in the letter flows nicely. The letter speaks directly to the job ad and does not get off subject. The specific skills that you mentioned from previous jobs will definitely help in getting the job. I think that the specific reasons that you mentioned to get the job are great too. The introduction specifically says all the information about applying for the job, but I think you should revise your conclusion. I think that one of the sentences is incomplete and you also need to add how the company can easily contact you. Overall I think that it is a great cover letter.