English 420Y - Business Writing Online

This week our group mainly focused on revising the article of our brochures. This week's reading was very helpful to put variety and rhythm on the sentences of our article. As the instructor commented on my part, the information of donation, I removed the specific person's name and contact information. I inserted the CFRC's contact information instead. In addition, the instructor’s comment that due to the regulation, the donation should be used only for the Christmas Day event but not for other areas of the community was very important information.

I started out this week thoroughly looking over the content already written for the past week, and made revisions accordingly. I made sure to fix all the mistakes Ryan found within the brochure. I worked very hard to make sure the content met the standards the Humane Society wants to go by also. I also made sure that everyone in the group made changes accordingly to what Ryan commented on. While re-reading the content of the brochure I found a few of little mistakes that I changed. I also made the brochure more reader friendly.

I started this week off with writing the group activity report for week 6 over the weekend. I mailed the report to the group for some feedback and Alex turned it with some minor additions. This week I completed the caring for your pet brochure and turned it as draft 3 for the caring brochure. I completed the second page of the brochure and made a lot of edits in accordance to the feedback provided to me the instructor. The caring for you pet brochure now looks very consistent and much more visually effective.

This week was a real productive week for our group. At the start of the week we had to turn in our second drfat for our broucher. So i contacted all my groupmates asking them how would we split up the work and how we were going to work on it. Before all that i worte an activitcty report on sundady and emailed it to all my group members. After getting there feedback i sent the email out to the professor. After looking at the comments that our teacher made about our frist draft.

I think this week went great, as far as the bochure is concerned. The 7th week has ended, which means that most of the work is already done. Early this week we recieved comments on the first draft of the brochure from Ryan. He had pointed a lot of areas that could be refined to make the brochure look more professional and organized. Alex made some changes to the brochure such as changing pictures and reorganizing information. I saw the brochure, made some changes myself and sent it to everyone for their comments and approval.

This week my group and I worked very productively on our second draft of our brochure. Monday night we met on AIM to discuss the revisions that needed to be made. Marius had prepared ahead of time with the first start of revisions which was a great asset to assisting us in the completion of the second draft. We each had a part of revising the brochure, in particular our individual sections that we constructed for the first brochure. The major change made on our brochure was in the volunteer opportunity section, which consisted of a summarizing the tasks/responsibilities.

This has been a very interesting week for me. I left a week ago to spend a week in the Bahamas. This created some interesting things for my week. First, I had to work to get as much accomplished before I left as I could. This meant that I had to do my Reading Response before our second draft had been accomplished. I used out first draft instead. I think this is actually going to be beneficial because we can use my responses to see how our second draft was improved. Second, I did not think that I was going to be able to get my peer review of another group's brochure done.

This week started off very busy for our group. Since we had to turn in another draft of our project by Tuesday, we had to work hard to get everything completed in time. It did help that I was in Florida and had to work in the business center of our hotel. It seemed as soon as I got started on something then someone would show up. We got past that though and are ready for the final week of this project. At this point in the project, everyone seems to be working very well together and will do anything to make this project a success.

Week 7 was all about revising our brochures. With the feedback on the first draft, we started working on our second draft. To make sure all parts are original, I rewrote my parts again. I then emailed them to Kim. We then revised the brochure with the new material. Because of some problems, I had to revise the part I had written again. So during the week, I revised that and emailed it to Kim again. I gave feedback of the second draft to the group members. I also gave feedback to the other group assigned to us.

This week our group worked on revisions of the brochures. Roy worked up revisions for the humane society brochure while Cristina nad I worked together to spruce up the pet care brochure. I worked mainly on the writing in the brochure while Cristina revised the layout a bit. After doing the 5 minute test with the brochures i have decided that the pet care one really needs some work yet. We reall need to get some of the sections less wordy and easier to read. The brochure would also look nicer if it was easier to follow.