Cover Letter - Mechanical Engineer

DigitalSHU's picture

1- Thorough enough without being too detailed?
2- Do I come off as eager for the opportunity or over confident?

Specifics are Key!

jstn's picture

Stephen,
I thought your cover letter was really impressive and equally effective.

- Form and Style -

1. Your cover letter touched on all the aspects that constitute a sound cover letter structure.

2. You use appropriate block formatting by aligning all text to the left margin.

3. I feel your resume was rather formal but was clear and professional. Consider trying to connect with the recruiter in a more personal manner to reduce the formality.

4. Although your tone is a bit unenthusiastic, I believe it is still fitting.

5. The only error I found was grammatical. You improperly wrote “companies” where “company’s” should have been used.

- Content/Rhetorical Context -

1. Although it sounds as though only one job is open for applicants, this does not suggest you should not include specific job information in the cover letter. On the contrary, the more the merrier. One of the points emphasized in this week’s readings was to use job-ad information in our cover letters. I think you could benefit from using more.

2. You were clear in your reason for applying, that you are “looking for the opportunity to apply my knowledge and skills in a team oriented environment like that of Stantec.”

3. Although you outline that your “background in technical drawings and reports is strong,” this, to me, is insufficient. Consider being more specific in your skills, abilities, knowledge, and experience.

4. I don’t feel your introduction specifically states which position you are applying for at Stantec, other that for an “engineering student internship.”

5. Your conclusion does not suggest how the employer can easily contact you, that is, preferred methods and times, etc. I am guilty of omitting this information as well. I have come to realize this information is important to include, especially in your closing arguments.

6. Overall, I think the most important revision you could make is to include more specifics. As I stated earlier, elaborate on your knowledge and experience and how you will apply it to the job you are applying for. Also, be specific in the position you are applying for so as to prevent a ‘stock’ cover letter that the employer dismisses for being too vague.

- Your Questions -

1. As I covered above, I feel you could benefit by being more thorough and include more specifics. It is clear from this week's readings that employers will likely not pursue an application with a vague and general cover letter.

2. I think your cover letter could have showed a little more enthusiasm and eagerness. Albeit you state that you are interested, I think it takes more to show that your intent is genuine.

Stephen, you have a pretty

breal's picture

Stephen, you have a pretty good introduction. You tell what you want and why, but you don’t exhibit any strong details of why you would be appropriate for the position. In the body, you do a good job of explaining why you are suitable for the position. I think you need to provide a few more details about what you have done that would benefit the company. Some more information about particular group and CAD projects should be included. You should also add some more details about your jobs that can be connected to the company/position. You finish well by thanking them as well as providing evidence that you have researched their company. Your phone number and email should be reiterated in the conclusion though.

Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Company address and date is missing. I know I have seen a company address on most cover letters, but how important is it?

2. Does the author use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
Yes

3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal, formal, or generic? Explain.
The cover letter is written professionally. The author uses technical words to describe his qualifications. It is well written.

4. Does the author take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? Highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
The author shows interest in the position and explains his qualifications with respect to the company’s job ad. He shows confidence and consideration throughout the letter.

5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them.
The only things I noticed are “I’m” should be I am, and “With extensive work in mechanics and design such as:” I don’t think a colon is appropriate here, and such as could be replaced with including or something similar.

Content/Rhetorical Context

1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of the author's qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
I’m not quite sure what position you’re applying for. Like said above, you should probably go into detail a little more about what the company is asking for.

2. Does the author mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes. “apply my knowledge and skills…” You have also done some research on the company, and told them you liked what you saw.

3. Does the author identify specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes, but the choice of words could be a little more technical and add a little more detail.

4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the author is well-suited to it?
The introduction provides a company and vague reasons. You should add the intern position and reword your major reasons sentence.

5. Does the conclusion indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
The conclusion need contact information in it. Other than that, the conclusion is pretty good. You show interest thru enthusiasm and extra research.

6. What is the most important revision the author should make? Explain.
I really think there needs to be more details in this cover letter. You need to really cover what you did in your previous jobs. Be more specific about related educational experiences. Also, you need to put a little more position and qualification info in your introduction.