I think your cover letter is very informative with a good amount of detail for qualifications not specified in your resume. It is important to accent what you think is most valuable in your resume and bring those ideas to your cover letter. With that respect, I think you made the most out of your experience and past employment. I would consider using the same idea to your related course work, if any. I am sure you can gear your cover letter specifically towards their job openings with the help of your knowledge gained from college. Being a Mechanical Engineering Technology student myself, I can relate some course work and projects to this position.
Your general tone seems very professional. The readings suggest keeping a polite and friendly attitude by using laymen terms to connect with the reader more effectively. However much I have tried this, I cannot get myself to use too many simple terms. Therefore, I understand your choice of tone. And because you chose to use more focused words, that does not mean that your cover letter is the opposite. I thought the tone was appropriate for your situation.
Your explanations for your examples and past work experience were very thorough. However, I would try to relate your past experiences directly to the job you’re applying for. Instead of dedicating four or five sentences to explaining your job position, briefly describe the traits you believe they are most interested in from that experience and suggest how well it will affect their company.
Overall, I think the cover letter is built very well. I don’t think the length is something to be concerned about. Cosmetically, your cover letter is put together correctly with the right amount of information.
Zeb, this is a very good, professional cover letter. You did a very good job covering the topics required in the introductory paragraph. You provided strong evidence from previous experiences of why you would be suited for the position. You took the short descriptions from your resume and built on them. One thing you didn’t talk about that was included in your intro was your education. I think you may want to look into touching on this subject somewhere in the cover letter. You finished strong by reiterating your qualifications and showing interest.
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Yes
2. Does the author use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
The author’s name and address are centered, but this matches his resume, so I think it will be alright.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal, formal, or generic? Explain.
This is a professionally written resume. The choice of words mostly fits well with his position.
4. Does the author take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? Highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
The author’s tone is appropriate. He shows interest in the position and provides detailed experiences without bragging about his accomplishments.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them.
1. ” repairing broken implements from failure while in use”
I don’t understand this segment. It may be due to the fact that it’s Friday and I wish I was somewhere else, but I really can’t figure out what you’re trying to say.
2. “I was constantly involved in trouble shooting problems…”
troubleshooting
3. “…structure integrity of the coilers.”
structural integrity
4. “…and being passioninate…”
passionate
5. Also one thing I noticed on your resume, you’re missing a dollar sign for the 80k.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of the author's qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
The job ad talks about product development life cycle and the author covers his experiences fairly by demonstrating designing, building and maintaining of products. A few comments on CAD may be appropriate. As Young said, you may want to tailor your cover letter to talk more about what the company wants. At times, it felt like you were just giving details about previous work experiences but you weren’t really connecting them to the company.
2. Does the author mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes. He states he is interested in “improving UAV designs and participating in creating new designs,” as well as being a well qualified contender for position.
3. Does the author identify specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes. “modify machinery designs to improve or accommodate for new “applications,” “design mechanical devices for special types of applications,” “creating a plan of action”
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the author is well-suited to it?
Yes
5. Does the conclusion indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes. “Having the drive, experiences, ability to work with others, and being passionate with a strong grasp on Mechanical design, I feel I would be a strong contender that’s beneficial to Aurora Flight Sciences.”
6. What is the most important revision the author should make? Explain.
I think something about your education should be included in the cover letter. Your major provides a lot of good skills and experiences that will help you out with this job. You also talked about your education in the introduction, so it really should be talked about in the body of the letter.
Some Suggestions
I think your cover letter is very informative with a good amount of detail for qualifications not specified in your resume. It is important to accent what you think is most valuable in your resume and bring those ideas to your cover letter. With that respect, I think you made the most out of your experience and past employment. I would consider using the same idea to your related course work, if any. I am sure you can gear your cover letter specifically towards their job openings with the help of your knowledge gained from college. Being a Mechanical Engineering Technology student myself, I can relate some course work and projects to this position.
Your general tone seems very professional. The readings suggest keeping a polite and friendly attitude by using laymen terms to connect with the reader more effectively. However much I have tried this, I cannot get myself to use too many simple terms. Therefore, I understand your choice of tone. And because you chose to use more focused words, that does not mean that your cover letter is the opposite. I thought the tone was appropriate for your situation.
Your explanations for your examples and past work experience were very thorough. However, I would try to relate your past experiences directly to the job you’re applying for. Instead of dedicating four or five sentences to explaining your job position, briefly describe the traits you believe they are most interested in from that experience and suggest how well it will affect their company.
Overall, I think the cover letter is built very well. I don’t think the length is something to be concerned about. Cosmetically, your cover letter is put together correctly with the right amount of information.
Cover letter review
Zeb, this is a very good, professional cover letter. You did a very good job covering the topics required in the introductory paragraph. You provided strong evidence from previous experiences of why you would be suited for the position. You took the short descriptions from your resume and built on them. One thing you didn’t talk about that was included in your intro was your education. I think you may want to look into touching on this subject somewhere in the cover letter. You finished strong by reiterating your qualifications and showing interest.
Form and Style
1. Does the letter include all the necessary components (return address, header, salutation, introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and conclusion)? If not, what’s missing?
Yes
2. Does the author use block format (all text flush with the left margin)?
The author’s name and address are centered, but this matches his resume, so I think it will be alright.
3. Does the style of the letter suit the occasion? Is it too informal, formal, or generic? Explain.
This is a professionally written resume. The choice of words mostly fits well with his position.
4. Does the author take the right tone? (E.g., come off as enthusiastic without gushing? Highly qualified without bragging?) Explain.
The author’s tone is appropriate. He shows interest in the position and provides detailed experiences without bragging about his accomplishments.
5. Are there any spelling or mechanical errors? If so, identify them.
1. ” repairing broken implements from failure while in use”
I don’t understand this segment. It may be due to the fact that it’s Friday and I wish I was somewhere else, but I really can’t figure out what you’re trying to say.
2. “I was constantly involved in trouble shooting problems…”
troubleshooting
3. “…structure integrity of the coilers.”
structural integrity
4. “…and being passioninate…”
passionate
5. Also one thing I noticed on your resume, you’re missing a dollar sign for the 80k.
Content/Rhetorical Context
1. Does the letter speak directly and specifically to the job ad, using keywords to organize the discussion of the author's qualifications? Even if it does, what could be done better?
The job ad talks about product development life cycle and the author covers his experiences fairly by demonstrating designing, building and maintaining of products. A few comments on CAD may be appropriate. As Young said, you may want to tailor your cover letter to talk more about what the company wants. At times, it felt like you were just giving details about previous work experiences but you weren’t really connecting them to the company.
2. Does the author mention specific reasons why he or she has applied for the position? Explain.
Yes. He states he is interested in “improving UAV designs and participating in creating new designs,” as well as being a well qualified contender for position.
3. Does the author identify specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize?
Yes. “modify machinery designs to improve or accommodate for new “applications,” “design mechanical devices for special types of applications,” “creating a plan of action”
4. Does the introductory paragraph identify the position applied for, its source, and then the major reason(s) why the author is well-suited to it?
Yes
5. Does the conclusion indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion or an interview? Does the letter end on a high note? Explain.
Yes. “Having the drive, experiences, ability to work with others, and being passionate with a strong grasp on Mechanical design, I feel I would be a strong contender that’s beneficial to Aurora Flight Sciences.”
6. What is the most important revision the author should make? Explain.
I think something about your education should be included in the cover letter. Your major provides a lot of good skills and experiences that will help you out with this job. You also talked about your education in the introduction, so it really should be talked about in the body of the letter.