English 421Y: Technical Writing Online

Form and Style
-Includes all necessary components
-Uses block format
-The style is very good in this cover letter. Neither too informal nor formal. The author speaks of specific accomplishments of the company that correlate to his interest in the field, which gives the letter a personal touch.
-There is only one thing I would change with the tone. In your first paragraph, you say “I realize that the job market has become more stringent as of late, but I can convince you that I am the person you need.” The word “need” makes it come off a little like bragging and I would replace it.
-Spelling/Mechanical errors: In the first paragraph use a period (not a comma) after “...graduating in May 2009” or revise the sentence(s). Also, the last sentence in the first paragraph is a little awkward to read. “Earth” should be capitalized in your last sentence

Content/Context
-The letter speaks directly and specifically to the job ad, and even cites the ad within the text. The only place I could see improvement in that regard is the final paragraph's first sentence. You could probably use one of the words from the ad to state your eagerness for the position.
-The author does mention specific reasons why he applied for the position. He states (few times) the passion he takes in the field and interest in “growing as one of (their) own.”
-The letter does need to identify more specific skills using terminology that other experienced people would recognize. Most of the document speaks specifically to your passion and generally to your engineering skill.
-The introductory paragraph identifies the position applied for, its source, and the the major reasons why the author is well-suited to it.
-The conclusion does not indicate how the author can be contacted for further discussion/interview but it does end in a high note that relates the company and his “down to earth commitment to humanity” in positive way.
-The most important thing to change would be to identify more specific skills that qualify you for the position. Other than that, it's a very solid resume and I would give you a call back if I were HR.

For your questions:
1: What should be done about the "Dear..." I kinds of want to address to specific people, but not sure if their positions should be left in/out.
I would keep it strictly to the HR rep since they usually to the interview selection, but two other good options would be to either just state their name (not positions) or send two different letters. However, I think the way it is now works alright.

2: Conclusion paragraph is probably kinds of weak and/or needs to be reworded...?
Yes, rewording would be a good idea since the paragraph itself is currently only one sentence and the first half is a bit awkward. Although I think the idea of your conclusion is great and comes off very genuine.

EDIT- I know there is only supposed to be 2 comments per blog. I was working on this while the other was submitted.

Form and Style

1. All necessary components are included, flows nicely from one to the other.
2. All text is left justified.
3. I would say the letter suits the occasion. It’s personal without being overbearing. Shows your interest in the company and your experience well
4. The overall tone of the letter is good, shows that you are eager and have experience in the corn industry. But like Shane said, the word “need” might be a little strong. Perhaps revise that statement with something like “…I can be an asset to the company.” Any statement that shows the employer that you are the perfect fit, without telling them outright will work nicely.
5. I would consider revising the last paragraph. It seems a little wordy to me. The first statement could start with; “I know that my eagerness and motivation could be beneficial to the company…”

Content/Rhetorical Context

1. The job posting has expired so it’s a little hard to tell exactly what was posted. But looking at your job review I can see that you have included information from the job posting. The first sentence clearly states what the company was looking for. You clearly outline your qualifications and your knowledge of the company. Mentioning your experience in the corn industry through your senior design class was also good.
2. The specific reason for application was because of you interest in the industry and your experience in bio fuels.
3. The terms bio fuel and corn material are used which would be understood by people in industry. However, these are general terms that most people understand. You could be more technical and I think it would still be effective.
4. All are mentioned except for the source of the position applied for. It just says “job ad”. You might want to include where you found the job ad.
4. There is no contact information in the last paragraph, but it does end on a high note. It clearly states that you are eager and willing to be an asset to the company. I can only recommend the revisions I stated above. I also left out contact information in the last paragraph; it didn’t really seem to fit.
5. I think the most important revision you could make is to change your tone a little. I like the confidence in your letter but it might be more effective if you tell them you would be an asset rather than they “need” you. Overall, I think you have a strong letter.

1- In the Dear… statement, I would address the letter to the HR. You mention Dean, one of the employees of the company, but I don’t think it should be addressed to him. You are not certain if he has any pull with the hiring so it would probably be best to leave it off. If HR sees the mention of his name/article they will know you are knowledgeable of the company.
2-The conclusion paragraph rounds out the letter well but could use some revision. I mentioned a way I thought it could be revised, see above.