English 420Y - Business Writing Online

I think this week went great, as far as the bochure is concerned. The 7th week has ended, which means that most of the work is already done. Early this week we recieved comments on the first draft of the brochure from Ryan. He had pointed a lot of areas that could be refined to make the brochure look more professional and organized. Alex made some changes to the brochure such as changing pictures and reorganizing information. I saw the brochure, made some changes myself and sent it to everyone for their comments and approval.

This week my group and I worked very productively on our second draft of our brochure. Monday night we met on AIM to discuss the revisions that needed to be made. Marius had prepared ahead of time with the first start of revisions which was a great asset to assisting us in the completion of the second draft. We each had a part of revising the brochure, in particular our individual sections that we constructed for the first brochure. The major change made on our brochure was in the volunteer opportunity section, which consisted of a summarizing the tasks/responsibilities.

This has been a very interesting week for me. I left a week ago to spend a week in the Bahamas. This created some interesting things for my week. First, I had to work to get as much accomplished before I left as I could. This meant that I had to do my Reading Response before our second draft had been accomplished. I used out first draft instead. I think this is actually going to be beneficial because we can use my responses to see how our second draft was improved. Second, I did not think that I was going to be able to get my peer review of another group's brochure done.

This week started off very busy for our group. Since we had to turn in another draft of our project by Tuesday, we had to work hard to get everything completed in time. It did help that I was in Florida and had to work in the business center of our hotel. It seemed as soon as I got started on something then someone would show up. We got past that though and are ready for the final week of this project. At this point in the project, everyone seems to be working very well together and will do anything to make this project a success.

Week 7 was all about revising our brochures. With the feedback on the first draft, we started working on our second draft. To make sure all parts are original, I rewrote my parts again. I then emailed them to Kim. We then revised the brochure with the new material. Because of some problems, I had to revise the part I had written again. So during the week, I revised that and emailed it to Kim again. I gave feedback of the second draft to the group members. I also gave feedback to the other group assigned to us.

This week our group worked on revisions of the brochures. Roy worked up revisions for the humane society brochure while Cristina nad I worked together to spruce up the pet care brochure. I worked mainly on the writing in the brochure while Cristina revised the layout a bit. After doing the 5 minute test with the brochures i have decided that the pet care one really needs some work yet. We reall need to get some of the sections less wordy and easier to read. The brochure would also look nicer if it was easier to follow.

I started the week by making changes to the brochure using the comments from Professor Tirrell and the CFRC. One of my responsibilities for the group was to help write the text, so this is what I focused on. Since I did not help with the first draft because of family problems, I thought it was important to be active in the revising for the second draft. I fixed the small errors in the document and then concentrated on the short paragraphs we have in the brochure. I posted the revised brochure on the wiki page for my group to review.

Week 7 was another good week for Tirrell Group 1 on the service learning project. We started this week out similar to the other weeks. We emailed ideas of the projects’ design and revisions of the text. When revising, we looked at our instructor feedback and took into account the past weeks reading.

This week has been really productive. The second draft was due on Tuesday but I thought it was due on Monday. Thank God I got confused to a day before and not after. It actually turned out to be a positive confusion since I finished the second draft on Monday with the help of Libby. When we got the feedback on draft number one I immediately wrote an email to all of my peers and coordinated with Libby to work on the pet care brochure that was the one we had been working on since the beginning of the project.

This was a very hectic week for my group. For the project this week, I just began making revisions to draft 1 and communicating with my group. My group was given a lot of revision comments for draft 2, but unfortunately we never organized exactly how we were going to make those revisions. I think everyone contributed in some way, but it ended up being on the night it was due myself and another group member sending it back and forth to finish it up.