English 420Y - Business Writing Online

I m attaching the draft for my letter. Please comment so that I can make it better.
thanks

Attached is my business letter draft. Please feel free to make comments. Thank you. Bryce Sexton

Help me out and give me some information

What do you think?

Attached is my business letter. Please leave comments and suggestions. Thank you

Any comments and criticisms are welcome!

Feel free to make comments. Thank you!!

I wrote this very similar to my press release.

I would appreciate your comments!

Here is a copy of my business letter. I welcome comments and suggestions!