English 421Y: Technical Writing Online

I'm usually really bad with commas, what do you think? hmhm

How is the formatting of this document?

Thanks!

1: What should be done about the "Dear..." I kinds of want to address to specific people, but not sure if their positions should be left in/out.

2: Conclusion paragraph is probably kinds of weak and/or needs to be reworded...?

Does the cover letter need to be longer?
Is the look and tone of the cover letter good?

1. Is my tone of voice to "over the top"?
2. Do I explain my experience in depth enough?

1. Do you like the overall format of the cover letter? Specifically the heading

2. Do I give enough specific examples of my exeriences?

How is my tone?
Should i go into more detail with my experiences?

Cover letter attached.

I was wondering if I did too much explaining my job experience and not enough trying to sell myself. Any help would be appreciated.

Please answer the following:

1. Do I provide sufficient detail in regard to my academic and professional careers?

2. I've elected to use a different header format than was suggested by this weeks readings, which was to use the same from the resume. Is the format that I've chosen still effective and professional?