English 421Y: Technical Writing Online

Considering my technical experience is weak, how can I better talk up my class experience?

Do I successfully create a bridge between my resume and my cover letter?

Dear Employer,

I am a perfect match for your Software Engineer position at CRA’s Boston branch. I have eight years of experience programming in C# and I led an extensive research project at Purdue University on algorithms for data mining stock market information. Additionally, I am a very self driven and distinguished individual who can advance CRA’s financial software package.

I had some trouble with formatting. I lost Microsoft Office and I just started using OpenOffice. It's nice but I'm pretty shaky with some of the details.

My questions:
1. It's way long. What can I cut out/combine? I'm too narcissistic; I'm having trouble letting go.
2. Do I need to elaborate more on my personal traits? As if I have room to cram anything else in.

Enjoy.

Do I need to be more specific on my topics or include more?
Is my tone one that would be acceptable to my reader?

1. Am I too repetitive?

2. Do I show confidence and belief that I will be an asset to Ghafari?

I'm usually really bad with commas, what do you think? hmhm

How is the formatting of this document?

Thanks!

1: What should be done about the "Dear..." I kinds of want to address to specific people, but not sure if their positions should be left in/out.

2: Conclusion paragraph is probably kinds of weak and/or needs to be reworded...?

Does the cover letter need to be longer?
Is the look and tone of the cover letter good?