English 421Y: Technical Writing Online

This is full of win.

This week, I focused on editing the white paper final draft. I worked with my group members to make changes to the white paper in order to address the needed improvements mention in Professor Tirrell's blog comments. The main focus was on making the white paper business oriented rather than consumer oriented. This involved mainly editing the introduction and conclusion, but also editing the descriptions of the individual phones themselves.

This week I spent the majority of my time (not literally) reviewing the instructor's comments on our groups project submission and making adjustments to better my section. The main change that I made was to encompass an additional section, related to the discussion of the economic efficiency of the closed loop geothermal system. I left this out for the rough draft as there was still a little confusion within the group as to how we were going to present this information.

Jason Flittner – Individual Activity Report

During this week starting from Monday (April 27th) to today, Friday (May 1st), our group has primarily worked on editing the rough draft and making a final version of the White Paper.
This week moved very quickly, leaving no time to wait around. At the beginning of the week the group agreed to read through the comment on our rough draft. We were encouraged to look at our paper and see what we could individually improve on. Most of the problems were within the grammar and in text citing resources. In addition there were a few more additional problems that our group addressed.

Date: May 1, 2009
To: Professor Rivers
From: Group 2
Subject: Group 2 Activity Report – Week 16

This week was obviously spent on making the final corrections to our white paper. We spent a lot of time revising, formatting, and restructuring our paper to make it just right. We implemented a lot of the corrections that were given in our rough draft feedback and we feel that they helped to improve the overall flow of the document.

it's security, not secruity <3